Dreamspinner Press Year Seven Greatest Hits Page 10

  He had to stop.

  ELLIOT couldn’t believe it. He figured he must be hallucinating. Danny was kissing him. Kissing. He felt like he’d been waiting forever for a kiss like this. Since the first second he saw Danny if not even longer. Elliot’s head spun. The kiss was perfect, gentle and questioning, a question Elliot said yes to in every way his body knew how. Yes, yes, yes….

  Danny started to lift his head, and Elliot reached up, desperate to keep contact. No, don’t stop. He was finally getting what he’d been so afraid to want, and he couldn’t stand for it to end. But Danny’s lips lifted from his, and his eyes opened, staring down, scared, worried… silent. The quiet in the room spread, deafening and full of things Elliot needed to say. He couldn’t stand to let go. He let his fingers drift out of Danny’s hair and across his cheek slowly. So slowly. It barely felt real.

  “El—” Danny looked away.

  Elliot’s chest crushed, the fragile hope that he and Danny were really going to happen drained away in a painful rush.

  “I, uh, I forgot I was going to meet Reece downstairs to play pool,” Elliot mumbled. He had to get out of there before he did something stupid like tell Danny every one of his pathetic fucked-up feelings. He scrambled out from underneath Danny, nearly falling out of the bed and tripping as he tried to get his flip-flops on and get out.

  “Elliot.”

  “No, it’s fine. I’m just going to go downstairs with Reece and do that thing and, yeah, I’ll be back later. Have fun—just. Yeah.”

  Elliot wanted to die. His face was hot pink, he was sure, and every drop of dorky awkward in him flew out all at once. Just for a moment in his life he wanted to be cool. Just once.

  He slid out of their room without another word and nearly sprinted downstairs. Elliot hadn’t ever been more grateful that Reece was still up and in the main area, picking at his guitar and hanging out with the guys from OCD.

  “Hey, bro,” he said casually when Elliot slipped into one of the easy chairs.

  “Hey.” Elliot hoped his face looked as casual as Reece’s voice had sounded. From the look Reece shot him, he doubted it.

  “You okay?” Reece asked.

  “Yeah.” Elliot tried to grin. “Just ran down the stairs a little too fast. I almost wiped out at the bottom.

  Reece chuckled, one of his open infectious laughs, and raked a hand through his dark hair. “I was playing around with a few things. Wonder if they’d be cool if we changed a couple of the chords in ‘Fool For Love’? I think this will work better.”

  Elliot settled into the conversation, ready to talk about music, or pretty much anything as long as it would take his mind off of what had happened upstairs. It worked. Almost.

  Whenever there was a lull in the conversation, or Reece got lost in his guitar, picking out new melodies and chords, Elliot’s mind would be there again, in that kiss, in that moment he thought would never in a million years happen. It had been both of them, he knew it was. He hadn’t kissed Danny, Danny hadn’t kissed him, they’d kissed each other. That much Elliot was certain of. But the question was why did Danny do it? And if he really had participated in the kiss as much as Elliot had, why did he look away like that afterward? All Elliot had wanted to do was grin and laugh, say “Finally,” and pull Danny closer so he could kiss him again. How could Danny not want the same thing?

  He didn’t want to go back up to the room and face an awkward conversation, but he was scared of what the cameras were picking up. There was no way his worries weren’t splashed all over his face. The girls online had noticed how close they were, how much time “Delly” spent together hanging out, cuddling, walking close, and having whispered conversations. They all swooned about how protective Danny was over him, how he looked at Elliot like he was the most important thing in the world. More than anything, Elliot wanted to know how much of that was true and how much of it was wishful thinking. But it wasn’t as if he could ask Danny what that kiss had meant, if he felt the same as Elliot did. That conversation would be more raging awkwardness than even Elliot could handle. So he avoided it. As long as he could.

  When it got to the point where he was falling asleep on the couch, he finally told Reece and the other guys goodnight and went back to the room he shared with Danny, cringing the whole time, worried a gentle letdown was waiting for him upstairs. But when he got there, Danny was asleep on his stomach, face smashed into the crack of his book, phone cradled in his hand. Elliot smiled sadly and tugged Danny’s phone out of his hand, slipped the book out from under his face, and pulled his light covers over him.

  “Night,” Elliot whispered to Danny’s peacefully sleeping form.

  His gut wrenched painfully. At that moment, Elliot was pretty sure he knew what love felt like.

  And it sucked.

  Reece Beaufort @SouthernBoyReece

  @Dannyboy94 Is @EPriceisRight up yet?

  Danny Bright @DannyBoy94

  @SouthernBoyReece @EPriceisRight Nope. He’s still snoring up a storm.

  Reece Beaufort @SouthernBoyReece

  Kick him out of bed! We’ve got stuff to do:) @Dannyboy94 @EPriceisRight

  Elliot Price @EPriceisRight

  @Dannyboy94 @SouthernBoyReece I’m up!! Jeezzzzz. And I don’t snore. I wasn’t even sleeping.

  Danny Bright @DannyBoy94

  @EPriceisRight Morning Elli-bean!! (yes you do snore)….

  “You’re ridiculous. I’m right here,” Elliot grumbled.

  Danny laughed from the other side of the room. Elliot waited for it to be awkward, for Danny not to look at him or for there to be silence. Instead, Danny bounded up from his bed and hopped over and flopped on Elliot’s. That easy, huh? They’d kissed and Elliot took off and it was weird as hell, but Danny was going to act cool like nothing much happened?

  Part of Elliot was relieved. Part of him was pissed. He wanted there to be something, some talk, some acknowledgement, anything at all that told him Danny had been as affected by their kiss as he had. He thought. Or maybe it was better to pretend it never happened? The relieved part of him told him that was the case.

  “What’s up for today?” Danny asked. He had to already know. Tuesdays had been the same since they moved into the house.

  “Rehearsal, recording, video dairy. Two hundred snack breaks for Reece.”

  Danny chuckled and leaned over to ruffle Elliot’s hair. “Better get in the shower then. You know the producers don’t like it when we have beanie day on Tuesdays. We have to look pretty.”

  See. You knew what was going on today. He was probably just trying to make Elliot feel less weird. Which was nice. And annoying. Why can’t you feel weird about this too? Why can’t you want another kiss? Why am I sitting here staring at you like I’m the princess of awkwardland?

  Elliot threw off his covers and hopped out of bed. He tried not to notice that Danny followed him to their dressers, studiously ignored the heat that bloomed in his belly when Danny’s bare arm brushed up against his side while he rifled through his shirt drawer, and one hundred percent did not under any circumstance picture Danny naked when he said he’d take the first shower so Elliot could lie back down for a minute if he wanted to. When Danny flipped him that signature cheeky grin before he turned and walked to the shower, Elliot nearly screamed.

  Why are you so okay with this?

  Elliot spent the entire time Danny was in the shower, which was usually quite a bit longer than everyone else, talking himself into not caring. They kissed. No big, right? Friends kiss sometimes, and it’s cool and everyone’s fine the next day. He imagined it happened all the time. Hell, it had happened to him more than once. He’d kissed a few of his friends at parties and thought nothing of it. So why now? Elliot rolled his eyes at himself.

  Hmmm, I wonder? Dumbass. Could it be that he’d never looked at Danny as only a friend? Just maybe?

  He spent his time in the shower scrubbing his hair and skin and pretending everything was fine. Same with breakfast. Lots of pretending. He smiled
at Reece’s jokes and halfheartedly punched Webb when he gave him crap over something Elliot barely even paid attention to. But when Danny crawled into the van that would take them to the studio, crowded right up next to Elliot, and slung his arm across Elliot’s shoulders just as he’d done the day before and most days before that? Yeah. Done pretending that everything was no big deal.

  Elliot’s body burst into shivers and goose bumps and warm melting heat. That little fluttery bloom earlier? Nothing. He wanted to reach over and curl his hand around Danny’s thigh, run his hand up under the hem of Danny’s shorts, feel golden skin and the muscles from surfing and swimming every day. Elliot dug his nails into his palms and looked out the window. It was desperate, the need thrumming through his body and rushing to his cheeks. It pissed him off.

  “What’s up, El?” Danny asked quietly. He couldn’t be that oblivious. Elliot just stared right at his face until Danny nodded. “Oh. Later, okay? We’ll talk later,” he whispered.

  Elliot wasn’t sure if he wanted “later.” If the talk wasn’t good, he’d rather not have it. But he supposed they had a long road ahead of them if something wasn’t discussed. Even if it was just “Oops, I kissed you. Let’s just be friends.” The idea of hearing those words out loud made Elliot want to puke. A big part of Elliot, the part that wasn’t reveling in the memory of that one tiny perfect kiss, wished things could go back to the way they’d been. To the place where he and Danny were hovering on some invisible precipice but hadn’t jumped over the edge. Maybe that one kiss didn’t count for much of a jump, but to him everything had changed. They couldn’t just exist in oblivious cuddly touch land anymore. They had to say something about what had happened.

  RECORDING was nice. It took his mind off things when he could focus on blending his voice with the other guys. The video diary wasn’t quite so nice. Danny squished right next to him as usual, touched and poked and did all the stuff that was so painfully Danny. Elliot didn’t know how to handle it. The other guys must’ve noticed how weird he was acting. They looked over at Elliot quite a lot, and there were more than a few relieved sighs when the cameras stopped rolling. It wasn’t his best effort, and for how much Elliot usually hated video diaries, that was really saying something.

  “Hey, let’s go hang by the pool,” Webb said. He was usually quieter than the rest, but even he must’ve felt the awkward from a hundred miles away and wanted to fill the quiet void.

  “Sounds good,” Danny said. “I’ll be right out.”

  “Me too,” Tate agreed.

  Elliot couldn’t do it. Couldn’t do even another minute of the guys and the joking and not knowing where he stood with the one person who had the ability to crush him. “I think I’m going to go across the street to the beach. I’ll be back in a little while.”

  Reece’s gaze was on him. As far as Elliot was concerned, just like Chris, Reece saw way too much. “I’ll go with you. Wouldn’t want some random beach rapist to get our Elli-bean.”

  Elliot groaned. “A forever thank you for getting thousands of people to call me that, by the way. It’s fantastic.”

  Reece chuckled and threw an arm over Elliot’s shoulders. “You love me.”

  That seemed to be Reece’s answer for everything. “You’re lucky I do,” Elliot mumbled.

  Reece laughed out loud. “And what are you going to do to me?” He wasn’t big, but Reece was scrappy. Elliot was pretty sure he hadn’t grown up in the sedate middle-class neighborhood Elliot had come from.

  “Nothing. C’mon if you’re coming with me.” He had to get out of the stifling atmosphere of the house. He wanted to be alone, but Reece was okay. He didn’t stare knowingly like Webb or ask a million mothering questions like Tate. And he wasn’t Danny. Elliot didn’t know how he was going to handle Danny—’cause eventually he’d have to.

  “YOU cool?” Reece asked as they made their way down the rickety wood staircase toward the beach. It was breezy that night, and even if his mind was racing a mile a minute, the sound of the waves did help. He knew they would. Elliot had always loved the beach. Even with the pain-in-the-ass commute from Palmdale, he’d always tried to make the drive at least every few weeks.

  “Sure. Why?”

  “Don’t know. You just seemed squirrely to me today. You and Danny are okay, right?”

  Maybe. “Of course. Why would you ask that?”

  “’Cause on most days you guys are barely far enough apart to stick a piece of paper between you. Today you sat by Webb in the studio.”

  Elliot tried for a casual laugh. “Glad you’re keeping tabs on me, dude. It’s really fine. I promise.”

  Maybe if they just slipped into the next day and the day after that. Avoided the talk Danny had said they’d have, then it really would be fine. Elliot could try to get over his dumb crush, Danny would hopefully not make it any worse, and life could move on.

  Elliot thought that was a great plan. Hopefully it would work.

  “It’s colder down here than I thought it would be. You wanna go back up to the house?”

  Reece nodded. “Yeah. I’m beat, honestly. I wouldn’t mind getting some shut-eye.”

  EVEN if he was tired from the long day, there wasn’t a chance Elliot was going to fall asleep. He was antsy and anxious, shaky. Weird. It had happened before. Elliot didn’t know how to explain his weird moods, especially not to someone who didn’t live in his head, but he had to talk to a friend. Someone from his old life who wasn’t his mother. They’d gotten back from the beach a little while ago, but he wasn’t relaxed. Reece’s knowing looks, the questions, the fact that no matter how much he tried to talk himself out of thinking about it, he still couldn’t get Danny’s kiss out of his mind—none of it helped. So he texted Sara. A much-needed distraction and a friendly voice on the outside.

  Hey….

  At least she replied quickly.

  Elliott?!?!? What’s up chicken butt?

  Elliott snorted.

  Just the typical. On a TV show. Recording my first album. You know.

  Remind me to feel sorry for your super boring life. Seriously… how are you doing?

  Elliot didn’t know how to explain it. He’d never told Sara about the few guys he’d kissed, never told her that he even thought about kissing guys. How could he start with his crush on Danny?

  El? You still there?

  Yeah. I’m just… well, you know how I get anxious, right?

  Course. Usually there’s a reason when you do. What’s wrong?

  It’s hard to explain….

  Can I call?

  Elliot nodded. Then he realized that she obviously couldn’t see him. He decided to call Sara instead. They really weren’t supposed to use their cells to call out in case they gave away stuff from the show, but he wasn’t going to talk about the show. He was… well, he wasn’t sure what he was going to talk about. It was still better if nobody heard his phone ring.

  “Hi,” he said quietly when Sara answered. “I can’t talk long. We’re not really supposed to. It’s nice to hear a familiar voice though.”

  “You do sound kinda wound up. What’s the matter?”

  “It’s just… weird, you know? Everything. Like the cameras are on us constantly, trying to find stuff that’s not there, like me and Savannah. I know I brought that on myself, but we’re seriously just friends.”

  “I don’t think anyone watching really thinks you’re into her.” Sara sounded like she wanted to ask something else. Elliot had learned lately that most questions were ones he didn’t want to answer. He decided to just keep talking instead.

  “So anyway, yeah. It’s just weird and stressful and it’s hard not seeing you and my parents, you know? I’m not used to being away from home. Guess I have to get used to it, right?”

  “And that’s the only thing that’s bothering you?”

  Elliot’s stomach dropped. “What do you mean?”

  “I’ve gotta ask. I mean, yeah… I have to. What’s going on with you and Danny, El?”

&
nbsp; “Nothing. We’re really good friends.” As far as efforts at convincing people go, that sucked the big one.

  “And you’re a really bad liar. Even over the phone. Try again.”

  “Seriously, nothing.” And then he just went for it. “I wish….” He sighed.

  Sara squealed so loud that Elliot had to hold the phone away from his ear. “I freaking effing knew it! Jenna said there was no way you were into guys, but I have never seen you look at anyone like that. It’s soooo cute.”

  “Yeah. Adorable.” Elliot rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help smiling. Talking about Danny wasn’t what he’d had in mind when he called his oldest friend, but oddly it felt good.

  “Nothing at all has happened? Nothing? ’Cause the sexual tension between you two? Holy hell.”

  “We’ve kissed. Once,” Elliot whispered.

  “Ohmygod when?”

  “Last night. And now things are weird.”

  “And that’s really why you wanted to talk to me. It’s a hell of a reason to be anxious, El. I’ll give you that.”

  “Yeah. He said earlier that we’d talk, but I don’t want to get the ‘let’s be friends’ speech. I’d rather just pretend it didn’t happen and go back to the way things were, you know?”

  Sara snorted. “You and Danny are not just friends. Even if you’d never touched once, you’re not friends. I promise.”

  “I just don’t want to hear it if he’s not into me too.”

  “I think you should talk to him.” She had that voice on her. The “Sara knows best” voice. Elliot knew it well.

  “I think I shouldn’t.” I think I’m terrified to talk about it.

  “Elliot.” Sarah sighed.

  Elliot heard water running in the bathroom on the other side of his door. “I’d better go.”

  It wasn’t like any of the guys would narc on him for using the phone, but he didn’t need any of them to hear the conversation they’d been having. He was already worried they might notice too much about the way he looked at Danny. Obviously Sara had.