Endings and Beginnings Page 11

  Darren looked into his eyes. “Can’t wait to be inside you,” he murmured. Then there was more kissing, more touching, more rocking, each new intimate caress sending JJ higher and higher. Darren’s breathing grew more rapid, his movements less fluid. “Ready for me?”

  JJ nodded, unable to break eye contact. “I think so.” His body tingled with anticipation.

  Darren sat up and grabbed a condom. JJ watched, mesmerized, as Darren gloved up and slicked his rigid shaft before rubbing the wide head against his hole, teasing it.

  “Oh, I can feel the heat of you.”

  Slowly he pushed, and JJ held his breath, awaiting the pain. Darren wrapped his hand around JJ’s full dick and worked the shaft.

  “Breathe, JJ. It’s easier when you breathe.” His eyes shone, the pupils full and dark.

  JJ inhaled and then expelled his breath slowly as Darren eased into him, letting him feel every inch of that thick cock filling him. He lifted his head from the bed, straining to catch sight of Darren’s glistening shaft sliding into his body, connecting them. JJ fell back onto the pillows with a groan.

  “Oh, God. Is it weird that it hurts, but it’s a good hurt?”

  Darren grinned. “It feels good, right?”

  “Shit, yeah,” JJ gasped out, writhing on Darren’s cock. Darren’s thrusts were leisurely, like they had all the time in the world, and JJ couldn’t get over how great it felt, how absolutely fucking amazing, to feel Darren’s dick inside him. “Fuck, so much better than before. Keep going.”

  Darren laughed, and JJ could feel it all the way inside him.

  “This is how good sex is supposed to be,” he said, sliding a little faster, his hands gripping JJ’s ankles and spreading him wide. When he shifted JJ’s thigh to lay it against his chest, his ankle resting against Darren’s shoulder, JJ moaned louder. “Fuck, you’re so tight,” Darren muttered, his thrusts picking up speed.

  “Feels so good,” JJ cried out. “More!”

  THAT WAS what Darren had been waiting for. He’d fought the urge to ream JJ’s tight arse, when all he wanted to do was sink his cock deep and hard into JJ’s body. The heat in him, searing Darren’s dick, the exquisite tightness of JJ’s arse clinging to his cock, letting him feel every thrust and glide….

  Darren let go of JJ’s leg and covered him with his body. JJ reacted instantly, pulling him into kiss after fervent kiss, his moans and soft cries increasing in intensity until Darren felt the young man begin to lose it. He flung his arm around Darren’s neck and clung to him while Darren fucked into him, rocking into him with harder thrusts, burying his dick in a tight furnace. The harsh sound of their breathing filled his ears. Darren couldn’t stop kissing him, their mouths fusing their bodies just as his shaft joined them. When need lit up every cell and fiber in him, Darren thrust hard all the way into him, his hips slamming into JJ’s arse, JJ crying out that he mustn’t stop, mustn’t fucking stop, please, please don’t stop….

  Darren’s heart thumped. Was this how it felt for Thomas and Peter? Controlling someone’s body, making it sing from your touch? He thought all the sex before had been amazing, but with JJ it was a whole new level. His reactions were so raw, his need undeniable. God, what Darren wouldn’t give for this kind of connection on a permanent basis.

  JJ could be mine.

  The thought was enticing, and the openmouthed young man beneath him made Darren do something he hadn’t done before. He made him want.

  He buried his cock in JJ, groaning when his thrusts were met with cries for more, JJ’s fingers digging into his shoulders, his back, his body trembling beneath Darren’s. When electricity shot up his spine, Darren claimed JJ’s mouth in a brutal kiss and shot into the condom, JJ’s eyes opening wide as Darren’s body stiffened. Darren slipped his hand between their bodies and tugged hard on JJ’s steel shaft, seconds before his hand was covered with hot spunk.

  “Fuck!”

  JJ arched his back, mouth wide, and then his body went limp under Darren, rocked by tiny jolts now and again, making him gasp and shudder. Darren held him, kissed him through his orgasm, his own dick still inside JJ. They lay like that for what seemed like hours, Darren losing all track of time while they kissed. He caressed JJ, stroked and fondled him, letting him know how good it had been, until he knew they had to bring their idyllic morning to an end.

  JJ sighed as Darren eased out of him. “You know,” he said as Darren dispensed with the condom, “I don’t think I’ve quite got the hang of it yet.”

  Darren tried to keep a straight face. “Oh?”

  “Yeah.” JJ gave him a shy smile. “I think I might need more practice.” The smile widened into a grin as he pulled Darren on top of him, his hand cupping the back of Darren’s head. “Lots and lots of practice.” JJ wrapped his body around Darren’s and held him tight.

  Darren lost himself in the slow, sweet kisses that followed. It sounded like a bloody good plan to him.

  This was how to start a day.

  Chapter Ten

  I COULD have stayed in Darren’s bed all day.

  JJ walked into Collars & Cuffs to do the evening shift, relaxed and content. Leaving Darren had been a real wrench. It was only Darren’s promise to pop by the club after work that was keeping JJ going. He smiled to himself.

  At some point he’s going to have to decide if he’s going to become a member. Having Darren around the club on a more permanent basis was definitely an incentive to keep working there. Peter couldn’t have complained about JJ’s attitude toward him. If that had been the case, something would have been said before now. No, for reasons best known to himself, Peter was keeping quiet about it, which was a relief.

  Everything had changed in the space of a day.

  JJ felt amazing. He was energized, positive, and looking forward to the future. A future that appeared brighter by the second. And of course, every time he moved, there was that delicious ache, reminding him exactly what he’d been doing that morning.

  “Someone got out of bed on the right side today.”

  Scott’s cheerful voice pierced through his reflections. The young man was sitting alone at a table next to the bar, a laptop open in front of him. Scott was grinning.

  JJ returned the grin. “Yeah, you could say that.” It was whose bed that had made all the difference, not that he was going to share. JJ glanced around, looking for Ben. It was almost time for JJ’s shift to begin.

  “Ben’s in the stock room,” Scott told him. “He won’t be long.” He leaned back in his chair and let out a happy sigh.

  “Looks like I’m not the only one who’s had a good day,” JJ observed, regarding Scott’s bright eyes and wide smile.

  “Huh? Oh.” Scott shrugged. “I’m just really happy today. One of my best friends is here, doing a scene with his Master.”

  JJ arched his eyebrows. “Er, Scott? This is a BDSM club, right? What else would he be doing here?” He chuckled.

  Scott straightened and peered at JJ. “You got a minute?”

  “Sure.” Ben hadn’t officially clocked off yet.

  Scott patted the chair next to him. “Come sit here for a sec.”

  JJ complied, intrigued when Scott leaned toward him and lowered his voice.

  “It’s Peter who’s doing the scene,” he explained.

  “Okay,” JJ said slowly. “I mean, I know I haven’t seen him much around the club since I started working here—well, not as much as some of you—but doesn’t he usually do scenes?”

  Scott shook his head. “And that’s the whole point.” He tilted his head to one side. “You remember that Saturday morning when we all came in, and Peter, well, he sort of lost it?”

  JJ nodded. It wasn’t an experience he was likely to forget.

  “I guess I should let you in on what was going on. You’ve been here a while, and you’re gonna hear guys talking about it, so it makes sense. Besides, I should imagine you found it all a bit puzzling.”

  “You might say that.” He’d wondered about it ever s
ince.

  “The thing is,” Scott began, “Peter was in a very abusive relationship.” He snorted. “I say ‘relationship’—he was kept under lock and key for four years by a sadistic bastard who claimed to be a Dom. Well, short version, Peter got rescued.”

  “Rescued? That sounds very… dramatic.”

  Scott nodded, his eyes wide. “Apparently one of the Doms here snuck into the house where Peter was being kept and got him out of there. He brought Peter to Master Thomas. And before you think I’ve gone off on a tangent, you know Master Leo said a guy called Curtis Rogers had committed suicide?” He peered intently at JJ. “Remember that part?”

  “Yeah, I remember.” It took every ounce of JJ’s willpower not to shiver.

  “Well, Curtis was the guy who messed Peter up. I saw his back,” Scott confided. “It was enough to give me nightmares.”

  JJ told himself that Scott was a sensitive little flower who probably got freaked out by a paper cut. Still, he couldn’t deny this latest development shook him. It can’t be as bad as Scott’s making it sound, though. It certainly went some way to explaining Peter’s reaction to the news of Curtis’s suicide. JJ’s earlier good mood was ebbing away a little at a time.

  This isn’t good. The picture Scott was painting of Curtis sent shivers up and down his spine.

  “What does this have to do with Peter doing a scene?”

  Scott’s eyes shone. “When Peter first came to live with Master Thomas, he was a mess. You wouldn’t believe how much he’s grown since then. I am so freaking proud of him. And for him to decide he wants to do a scene is huge.” He smiled. “Oh, it’s nothing like what some of the subs do. Master Thomas would never lay a whip or a cane on him, for one thing. I think they’re only doing sensory play, but it’s a start.”

  “You nearly ready to go, pup?” Ben appeared behind the bar.

  “Sure. Let me save what I’ve been working on.” Scott flashed JJ a quick smile and focused his attention on the laptop screen.

  “We’re all stocked up for tonight,” Ben told JJ.

  “Great.” JJ wasn’t really listening. He was still too busy trying to process everything Scott had said.

  “Good evening, JJ.” Thomas walked across to the bar, a broad smile on his face.

  What is it with everyone tonight? Is there something in the air? JJ had no idea why seeing people so happy was putting his back up, especially after he’d arrived there in a similar state.

  “Wow, boss. You’ve got that whole ‘cat who got the cream’ thing going on.” Ben grinned.

  There was a definite twinkle in Thomas’s eyes. “That might have something to do with the scene I just did with my boy,” he said quietly. The air of calm around him was almost tangible. “Are you about to go?”

  “Nearly. There was something Scott and I wanted to ask. We’ve been talking about the wedding, and we’d like to arrange it for the end of this month, September twenty-sixth. Do you think Peter would be okay to be Scott’s best man?”

  Thomas beamed. “I should think he’d be delighted the wedding is back on, and as for him being okay, all signs are looking positive right now. But you can ask him yourself if you like. He’s just taking a shower. He won’t be long.” He continued walking toward his office. “You know where I am if you need me, JJ,” he called back.

  Ben glanced at his watch. “I’m not sure if we can wait around for Peter. We can always talk about it another night.” He gave his sub a meaningful stare. “We need to get you home. You have classes in the morning.”

  “Aww.” Scott pouted.

  “Don’t you give me that,” Ben said, wagging his finger. “You were up writing until one o’clock this morning. Don’t think I didn’t know what time it was when you came to bed.” He pulled a face. “I had plans for last night too.”

  “And I have plans for this evening,” Scott said with a grin.

  JJ watched them, mesmerized by the interplay.

  Ben widened his eyes. “Such as?”

  Scott gave an involuntary bounce on his chair and winced. “Such as, why do you think I’ve been wearing a butt plug all afternoon?”

  A slow grin crossed Ben’s face. “And you think I’m going to wait until we get home? Group room, now.” He watched Scott scamper off in the direction of the room before meeting JJ’s gaze. “I think that’s me done for the day.” His eyes gleamed.

  “Can you hold the fort a moment longer while I go to the bathroom?” JJ asked. He was dying for a pee.

  “Sure, go ahead,” Ben said with a wave of his hand. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere now. Besides, since Scott made me suffer last night, he can go ahead and wait until I’m ready.”

  JJ chuckled and strode quickly toward the locker room. The sound of a shower running greeted him as he entered, but he paid no heed to the figure under the jets. He had something else much more pressing to take care of.

  His bladder relieved, JJ washed his hands and dried them with a paper towel. On his way out of the locker room, he glanced toward the open shower area—and froze. Peter was standing under the jets, facing away from JJ, the water cascading down his back.

  Oh my God. His back.

  JJ was looking at a mélange of scars, deep and horrid looking, from across his shoulders and all the way down the tops of his thighs. What the fuck happened to him?

  Then realization struck him, leaving him weak at the knees and shaking all over.

  Curtis.

  This was what Scott had been telling him. This was what Curtis had done to Peter. This was why Peter clung so desperately to Thomas.

  My father did that. That bastard. That fucking sadistic bastard.

  A wave of nausea rolled over him, and he gagged, bile rising in his throat. It was all true. Everything he’d read and tried to deny had all been completely true. The man had been a monster.

  JJ had to get out of there.

  He ran from the locker room, through the bar, and out onto the street; his eyes blurred. When he reached the curb, JJ bent over and retched, his stomach heaving. His legs shook, and it was all he could do not to fall onto his knees on the hard concrete. When there was nothing left but dry heaves, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, feeling weak and empty.

  “Hey, what happened? Are you okay?”

  Ben was there, but at the first touch of his hand to JJ’s shoulder, JJ bolted. Voices called out after him, but he shut them out and just ran. His feet stumbled on the pavement, but he kept going. He didn’t stop running until he reached Piccadilly Gardens and the bus terminal, where he collapsed onto a plastic seat at his stop, out of breath, shutting out the sight of the passersby around him. So many thoughts and emotions warred inside him, competing for dominance.

  Peter is going to hate me. Thomas will hate me. Fuck, they all will when they find out.

  Then his heart stuttered and his stomach rolled over once more. Cold fingers slid down his back and his legs felt weak and shaky as one last thought slammed through him, taking his breath with it. Including Darren.

  Shit. That hurt most of all.

  The journey home to his flat was a blur. JJ was functioning on autopilot, inside his head a collision of chaotic thoughts and fears. He tried to imagine how Peter must have suffered, what he must have gone through to end up so brutally scarred. Now and again his phone bleeped, the sound only barely registering on the periphery of his senses.

  By the time he fell facedown onto his bed, the outside world forgotten, the tears and the rage wouldn’t be contained any longer. It was only then that he realized something so fundamental it made him weep harder. He’d hated the lies, the deceit, but deep inside he’d wanted everything he’d been told about his father to be a lie. Because if it were all true….

  His phone buzzed, and JJ glanced at the screen. A message from Ben—no, several messages from Ben.

  Where did you go?

  What’s wrong?

  Are you coming back to work?

  JJ where are you?

  JJ
Call me.

  A couple of missed calls too.

  JJ didn’t want to talk to anyone. When the phone beeped once more, he grabbed it, ready to hurl it across the room, until he read the message. It was from Darren.

  Stopped by to see you. You okay?

  JJ was far from okay. How can I be okay when every truth I’d convinced myself of turns out to be nothing but lies? There was no way he could go back there. He recalled the anger and hurt displayed in the club when Leo made his announcement. JJ knew all about human nature. Curtis was dead, but people needed to blame someone, so who could blame them if they pointed the finger at him?

  One last thought left him cold. I’m such a hypocrite. I spout off about lies, and yet I’ve been the biggest liar of them all.

  He buried his face in his pillow, his fists clenched, body taut. I don’t want to think about it. He wanted to forget he’d ever heard the name Curtis Rogers or set foot inside that club. His thoughts went to his mum. He wanted to confront her with the whole sorry mess, to demand the truth, except he was too scared of the answers.

  The doorbell rang, shattering the silence.

  JJ sat upright, his head aching. He hadn’t had a single visitor since he’d moved in, and that was just how he wanted it. What worried him more was who was down there at street level, ringing his buzzer. Who the fuck knows where I live?

  He half-fell off the bed and stumbled to the door. The dimly lit staircase that led down to the main door stank of urine and mold. He hated the place, but it had been all he could afford. When he reached the ground floor and struggled past the chained-up bike in the hallway to the solid wooden door, his heart was beating wildly. After making sure the chain was in place, he cautiously opened the door to peer into the street.