The Senator's Secret Page 13

  He knelt up and leaned closer, his hand on the back of the couch to support himself. Slowly he brought their mouths together in a kiss—soft, tender, chaste. Sam kissed him back. Emboldened, Gary parted Sam’s lips with his tongue and kissed him again. He registered the change in Sam’s breathing instantly. Gary pulled back. “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he whispered. Before Sam could reply, he moved in for another kiss, sliding his tongue into Sam’s mouth, conscious of the tiniest moan that escaped Sam. Gary drew back once more. “Tell me how you feel.”

  Sam gazed at him, pupils so large and black. “Relaxed,” he admitted.

  It was a start.

  Gary kissed him again, this time making it a lot more sensual, and his heart soared when Sam slipped his arms around him and held him, kissing him back. They sat like that until Gary had lost all track of time, lost in kiss after slow kiss, both of them taking their time. He was like a rock in his jeans, but he ignored it. When Sam shifted and Gary felt hardness against his hip, he knew he had to do something.

  With reluctance he pulled away. “Let’s leave it there for tonight.” His voice was husky.

  “Why?” Sam was hoarse too.

  Gary stroked his cheek. “We might be engaged, but this is still new to you, right? I don’t want to push you too hard, too fast.”

  Sam stared at him, lips parted. “And what if I want you to push me too hard, too fast?”

  Gary placed his hand on Sam’s chest, feeling the rapid heartbeat. He grinned. “Which head is doing the talking right now?”

  Sam’s low noise of disappointment was gratifying.

  “The little one,” he muttered, cheeks flushed.

  “And that’s good,” Gary said. “But until it’s the big head talking, we need to slow down.”

  “Could we go any slower?” Sam groaned.

  Gary stroked Sam’s cheek once more. “This is not the end, all right? We can do this again.”

  Sam nodded. He lifted his head to look Gary in the face. “So what have you learned from your experiment?” The rapid rise and fall of his chest told Gary much.

  “That you and I have chemistry, Senator.” And that maybe one day soon this will stop being an act and become a whole lot more real.

  Gary couldn’t wait.

  SAM closed his bedroom door and within seconds his jeans were open, his hand was wrapped around his hard cock, and he was pumping it for all he was worth. He shuffled across to the bed, dropped down onto it on his back, and shoved his jeans lower. Sam closed his eyes and let his hand do the talking.

  Fuck, those kisses.

  Sam had never been so turned on in his life. He cupped his balls and squeezed them gently, his hand not slowing for a second. He was so close. It had taken all his effort and concentration to hold on until he’d reached the sanctuary of his room. Holding Gary, kissing him, God, the feel of him in Sam’s arms.

  Sam tugged harder, his balls churning, that electricity sparking up and down his spine until he was coming, back arched up off the bed, mouth open wide in a silent cry. He lay there shivering as the last remnants of his orgasm jolted their way through his body.

  For the first time in his life, Sam was close to actually having sex, and damn it, the thought had his gut in knots. Not that it was a bombshell—reaching the age of thirty-three with his virginity intact pointed to a whole lot of reticence and more than his fair share of fear. But that fear of intimacy was tempered by the knowledge that his first time would be with Gary. He knew it was inevitable now; even if the marriage idea didn’t work out, Sam was finally going to get laid. What really surprised the hell out of him was the feeling growing inside him that Gary would make it good. Gary would take care of him.

  He pulled off his shirt and used it to wipe away his come before dropping it into the laundry hamper. He walked into his bathroom and, standing before the mirror, that white light illuminating his face so starkly, Sam stared at his reflection.

  He likes me. Gary’s words had sent a pang that cut right through his heart. Sam might have repeated them back, but he already knew them to be a lie.

  Sam had passed merely liking Gary a while back. This was something else entirely.

  SAM looked out into the audience that filled the Baldwin Auditorium to capacity—even the balcony was packed. There had to be at least six hundred students and staff in front of him. Gary was sitting on the front row, grinning at him throughout the entire session, occasionally giving him the thumbs-up.

  “Okay, are there any more questions?” Sam asked into the microphone. He’d been impressed thus far. The students had shown a keen interest in his life as a senator, and the topics had ranged from the environment to economics to his plans for the future.

  A young man toward the back raised his hand, and one of the stewards passed him the wireless mic. “So how does it feel to be out, Senator?” He grinned.

  Sam was amazed it had taken that long. “It feels great,” he said with a smile. “Gary and I—give them a wave, Gary.”

  Gary looked around and waved, which brought a brief burst of applause from the audience.

  “We’re glad everything is finally out in the open. Pun intended.”

  There were chuckles from some of the audience. Another student raised her hand. “Any idea when the wedding will be?”

  “As yet, we haven’t fixed a date.”

  “Any plans to adopt Dinky, Senator?”

  Laughter rippled through the crowd.

  Sam narrowed his eyes at Gary. “Did you put him up to that?”

  More laughter followed.

  Gary widened his eyes. “I swear! I’m totally innocent.”

  Those around him were laughing.

  “Yeah, right.” Sam raised his head to address the audience. “He’s looking at me with those puppy-dog eyes, except I know better. I saw that same expression last evening. I went to the cookie jar to get the last one of my favorite peanut butter cookies, and what do you know? It was gone.” He peered intently at Gary, who was clearly biting back laughter. “When I confronted him about it, do you know what he said to me?” Sam affected an innocent expression. “‘We have mice, Sam.’”

  An explosion of chuckling and cackling followed.

  Sam grinned at his audience. “Yeah, you’re not buying it either, are you?” From the side, Josh caught his eye and indicated the clock. Sam nodded. “Okay, we have time for one more question.”

  A young woman about three rows from the front raised her hand and was passed the mic. She cleared her throat, her face flushing. “I actually had my question all worked out when this session was first announced last month. I was gonna ask for your phone number.” Hoots of laughter followed, and she turned around, her cheeks bright pink. “Yeah, then I saw the press conference last week and I thought ‘Aw, shi—shoot.’” More laughter erupted, and Sam joined in. The young woman’s face was a picture. “So, here’s my new question: Do you and Gary plan on having children?”

  Sam was taken aback. There was a fluttery feeling in his belly, and he looked out to see Gary’s response. The calm smile on Gary’s face made his heart soar.

  “I’d love to have kids one day,” Sam said quietly. Gary nodded immediately, and Sam’s skin tingled all over. “I know there are lots of kids out there just waiting to be adopted, and I think it would be great to give one a home. As for how many? Not a clue.”

  To his surprise, Gary raised his hand. When he had the mic, Gary looked Sam in the eye. “Speaking personally, I’d like at least two. I grew up an only child, and when I was thirteen, I lost my parents.”

  Sam stared at him in amazement. He nodded enthusiastically for Gary to continue.

  When Gary spoke again, his voice was stronger, more confident. “I think life would have been easier if I’d had siblings, someone to share with, to love, when things got too dark. And I second Sam’s idea of adoption. I think it’s a wonderful notion, but I have to be honest here. I’d prefer to go down the surrogacy route, because if we have kids? I’d want
them to look like Sam.”

  Sam’s throat was suddenly tight as he listened to the chorus of aws from around the auditorium.

  “Hey, Senator?” It was the guy from earlier. He gave Sam the thumbs-up. “The kids would love to have a dog. Just saying.”

  In the front row, Gary burst out laughing and was soon joined by others.

  The session organizer, Dr. Hockland, stepped up to the mic. “I’m sorry, but that really is all we have time for. Would you please join me in thanking Senator Dalton for stopping by today and answering our questions with such frankness, honesty, and humor?”

  Applause broke out instantly, and soon the auditorium rang with its sound. Sam raised his hand to accept it, smiling and nodding, grateful for the reprieve. There was no way he could have gotten a word out just then.

  When the applause died down, Dr. Hockland spoke into the mic once more. “Those of you with tickets to the mixer, you have thirty minutes before you’re expected at the Student Life Conference Room. Thank you, everyone, for making this an enjoyable event.”

  Her words were followed by noise and chatter as students began to leave the auditorium. She turned to Sam, hand extended. “That was wonderful, Senator. I’ll give you a moment to get your breath back before I whisk you across campus to the venue for the mixer. I take it Mr. Mason will be accompanying you?” Her eyes twinkled. “For moral support.”

  Gary was waiting by the stairs off to the right of the stage, still smiling.

  “Yes, he’ll be with me.”

  Sam wanted Gary at his side, and not just for moral support either.

  He was starting to believe that was where Gary belonged.

  “HAVE I told you how wonderful you were yet?” Gary murmured, his hand resting on Sam’s back, just above his waist, while he sipped from a glass of wine.

  Sam snickered. “About three times so far, but please, tell me again. I love praise.”

  Gary snorted. “If we weren’t in polite company right now, I’d swat you on the ass,” he muttered under his breath.

  “You could try,” Sam said darkly.

  He was glad of the lull in the proceedings. They’d mingled with staff and students, and the atmosphere had been relaxed, but they’d answered informal questions for about an hour. There had been several photo opportunities too, and Sam’s facial muscles were starting to ache.

  He was ready to go home.

  “Senator Dalton?”

  Sam turned to see a young woman with an earnest expression next to him. He peered at her name badge. “Hello, Kimberley,” he greeted her politely. Then he caught sight of another badge on the shoulder strap of her purse—Christians on Campus.

  “I have a question for you, if that’s okay.” Her voice was loud and clear, and several heads turned in their direction.

  “Of course.” Sam felt Gary’s hand slip into his, and he squeezed it, silently thanking him for the support.

  “It’s about your upcoming marriage, Senator. Why should North Carolina be represented by someone who ignores the basic tenet of the Bible, that marriage is between a man and a woman?”

  Hell.

  Before he could open his mouth, she pressed on. “Christians make up nearly 50 percent of this state, Senator. Why should they support someone who clearly does not represent them?”

  Sam took a deep breath. “I’m sure not every one of the 47.51 percent of Christians in North Carolina—yes, I am aware of the exact figure—believes as you do, Kimberley, but we’ll leave that aside for the moment. They should support me because I represent them, just as I represent 51.3 percent of constituents who are women. Am I a woman? No. I also represent the 22 percent of people in the state who are Black or African American. The 14 percent who are over the age of sixty-five. The nearly thirty thousand same-sex couples who reside in North Carolina. The miners in the Appalachians. The farmers. The coastal fishermen.” He locked gazes with her. “It’s my job to represent everyone, and surely that demands their support.” There were murmurs of support and approval from those nearest, and Kimberley’s face flushed.

  Sam leaned closer. “It might surprise you to learn that I was brought up to love God. And I believe He loves all His children, regardless of their ethnicity or their sexual orientation.”

  “Sounds like my God too,” said a quiet voice from next to Gary.

  Kimberley swallowed. “Thank you, Senator.” She walked away stiffly.

  Sam turned to the speaker, a young man in a pale blue sweater.

  “I wanted to thank you for coming here day,” he said to Sam. “It meant a lot to me.”

  “Oh?” Beside him, Gary moved closer.

  The young man—Michael—nodded shyly. “We need more people in government who aren’t afraid to… be themselves.” Another student joined them, and it only took Sam one glance to realize they were a couple.

  He peered at the badge below Michael’s name tag. “What does CSGD stand for?”

  “The Center for Sexual and Gender Diversity,” Michael said. “It provides a lot of things, but mainly a space for LGBTQI students and staff.” He inclined his head toward his partner. “It’s where I met Riley.” He gazed at Sam with shining eyes. “And what you wrote yesterday about family? That last line said it all. You talked about ‘those you consider family.’ Sometimes we’re closer to people who aren’t our flesh and blood. Sometimes it’s your flesh-and-blood family who let you down when you need them most.”

  His words made Sam’s heart ache. He’d been so fortunate with his parents.

  The representative of the Chronicle, the University’s daily student newspaper, approached them with her camera. “Can I take a picture of you two with the senator and Mr. Mason?”

  Sam looked at Michael, who shook his head.

  Riley paled. “Lord, no. Suppose my parents got to see it? They wouldn’t even like the idea of me coming to this meeting.”

  “You’re not out at home?” Gary asked quietly, and Riley shook his head.

  Sam smiled at the photographer. “No, thanks.” She walked away, and he turned to Riley and Michael. “Thank you for coming to talk with us here.”

  There was that shy smile again. “No, thank you. We want to wish you all the luck with your future wedding and your life together.” He held out his hand, and Sam shook it.

  He watched the two young men walk away, and something deep inside him ached.

  “What is it? What’s wrong?” Gary leaned closer.

  Sam let out a sigh. “I was actually thinking I wish I’d been brave enough to come out at his age, instead of being afraid of going into politics as a gay man. I missed out on so much.”

  Gary’s hand found his. “Two things. You got there eventually, and surely that’s a good thing. And if you’d come out sooner, your life might have turned out very different.” He looked into Sam’s eyes. “I might never have met you, for one thing.”

  Damn. It was possibly the sweetest thing Gary could have said.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Thursday

  “WHERE’S Gary today?” Curtis asked as he entered Sam’s office. “He’s not on the phones.”

  “No, he has classes all day.” Sam had hardly seen him the previous day, and he hadn’t stayed the night since Monday. Sam had been listless all Wednesday evening, unable to fathom why, until finally it had struck him: he missed Gary.

  Sam was suddenly aware of how quiet his office had become.

  He glanced up to find Curtis staring at him. “What?”

  Curtis walked over to Becky’s door and peered around it. “Okay, where’s Grace?” he joked.

  “She’s gone for the afternoon. Doctor’s appointment. Why?” Then he thought about it. “I always saw her more as Karen, myself.”

  Curtis grabbed the Meeting in Progress door hanger and hung it outside. Then he closed the door and sat in the chair facing Sam’s desk. “Okay, talk to me.”

  “About what?” Sam had an awful feeling he knew where this was leading. He’d never been able to h
ide anything from Curtis, even when they were in high school.

  Curtis arched his eyebrows. “How long have we been friends?”

  Sam ignored him. “Why were you looking for Gary?”

  “I wanted to show him some of the drafts for the magazine articles featuring you two. Josh just gave them to me. They look really good. Oh, and to ask for his bank details so we can arrange payment.”

  Payment. “Are we paying off all his loans and tuition fees at the same time?”

  Curtis shook his head. “I talked with him last week. We’ll pay off the loans now. We’ll wait until September when he starts at vet school to pay his tuition.” He grinned. “Of course, you could be married by then.” The grin faded and he tilted his head. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed you trying to avoid my question. I’ve known you long enough to know when something isn’t right.”

  Sam didn’t know where—or how—to begin.

  “How are you and Gary getting along?” Curtis asked him. “Josh was really impressed by your Q&A at Duke the other day, by the way. He said it was difficult to believe you weren’t a real couple.”

  And there it was.

  “Sam?” Curtis’s voice was quiet. “What is it?”

  Sam’s heart pounded. “What if… what if I want to make it real?” Without allowing Curtis to reply, Sam shook his head. “This is madness. I’ve known him for nearly eleven days. That’s all, eleven days.”

  “So? What does that matter?” Curtis leaned back, his gaze fixed on Sam. “You really like him, don’t you?”

  Sam nodded. “He’s funny, Curtis. He makes me laugh so much. And he’s smart too.”

  “He’d have to be if they’re going to let him train to be a vet. Got to have brains for that.”

  “And he’s really good with people. You should have seen him at that reception. And oh my God, Mom and Dad—he handled that so well.”

  Curtis stared at him. “So what’s stopping you?”

  Sam jerked his head up. “Huh?”

  “What’s stopping you from making it real?” He chuckled. “The ball’s in your court, Sam. You’re engaged to him. You’ve announced that you’re planning to marry, even if you haven’t set a date yet. You can make this as real as you want it. Providing, of course, he wants that too.”