Dom of Ages Page 18

  I nodded, keeping silent. It was plain this was something Peter had considered more than once.

  “I’ll be honest, Jarod. The thought of losing him? It hurts, so very much. That man is everything to me. And when he goes, I’m not sure I’ll be able to cope without him.” His eyes met mine. “He’s my whole life. And I’m sharing this with you because… you’ve been there, haven’t you?”

  “Yes.” Phillip may have been gone for four years, but the memories of the life we shared were still there in my head.

  “How did you do it, Jarod? How did you carry on, just like that?”

  I gave a bitter laugh. “But that’s just it, I didn’t. I wasn’t living after he died—that was merely existing. If Eli hadn’t come into my life when he did, I don’t know what I’d have done.” Then I reflected for a moment. “Yeah, I do. And we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

  He frowned, and then his eyes widened. “Oh, oh Jarod.” He shivered.

  I took his hand in mine. “But look around you. Whatever happens, you won’t be alone. You have your friends, your family at the club.” I tightened my fingers around his. “You wouldn’t go through it alone, Peter.” I nodded in the direction of the others. “They wouldn’t let you.”

  Peter followed my gaze. “You’re right,” he said softly.

  I cupped his cheek, bringing his attention back to me. “So what you do, is make the most of every day you have with him. Right?”

  The firelight caught in his tears. “Yes.” Suddenly I had two arms full of a young man who shuddered against me. I held him, cradling him. Peter brought his lips to my ear. “I’m so glad you joined the club.”

  I pressed a soft kiss against his short hair. “So am I.” Peter relaxed, resting his head on my shoulder. I gave him a quick hug. “Now, how about you and I go into the kitchen and find the marshmallows that I bought for us to toast? I’ve hidden them in a cupboard.”

  He sat upright. “Did you really? Oh, that’s cute.” Peter got to his feet. “Let’s go marshmallow hunting.”

  As we walked into the house, I thought for the umpteenth time how lucky I was.

  I had Eli.

  I HAD no idea of the time. We’d all piled into the bedroom a little before midnight, everyone in good spirits. After dinner Peter had pleaded for one more rehearsal, and Gareth had agreed, seeing as this was likely to be the only chance they’d have. I was amazed at how well they danced. The stripping part had proved unexpectedly hilarious, with feet getting caught up in pants and heads snagged in T-shirts, but after a while they’d gotten smoother at it. It was a happy group of subs who settled down for the night, curled up on mattresses, sheets and blankets covering them. Scott had looked around the room before the light had been switched off, and grinned. “It’s a puppy pile!”

  There’d been a second or two delay before the others had burst out laughing. My confusion must have shown, because Peter, who was nearest to me, leaned over to explain amid their laughter that Puppy Pile was the title of the first children’s book Scott had ever written. Still chuckling, the young men had settled down to sleep.

  Except I couldn’t.

  My mind kept going back to that conversation with Peter. It occurred to me that our situations were not dissimilar. My initial reaction to Eli’s age the night we’d met had long since been forgotten as I’d gotten to know him. The twenty years between us simply didn’t matter.

  Or so I’d thought.

  Yes, I was loving this new life. Yes, I was falling for Eli; there was little use denying it. Each day we spent together only served to reinforce the bonds between us. But for the first time, I found myself contemplating the future. Peter didn’t want to think about being parted from Thomas. What was I doing, if not the same thing in reverse?

  I’d be leaving Eli.

  “Can’t you sleep?” The whisper crept out of the darkness from the mattress beside me. In the dim light I watched as Peter propped himself up on one elbow. He yawned. “I’d have thought you’d be wiped out. I know I was.”

  “Just things on my mind.”

  Peter gave a dry chuckle. “Then tell your mind to sod off and let you sleep.” Beside him Scott stirred, letting out a soft whimper, clearly lost in a dream. “I’m sure whatever it is can wait till the morning.”

  He was right. “Good night, Peter.” I snuggled down under my blankets.

  “Night, Jarod.” Another yawn and the rustle of sheets. “Sweet dreams.”

  I lay there in the dark, listening to the comforting sounds of six young men breathing, the rhythm regular. I wondered if Eli was asleep. It wouldn’t be long until he’d have to be up for work.

  That was the last thought before sleep took me.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Eli

  THERE WAS something different about Collars & Cuffs. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but then Leo hit on it. “Doesn’t this place seem quiet?”

  That was it. I had to agree. “It’s not like they’re a noisy lot when they’re here, but you really notice when they’re not.” We’d gathered in the bar: me, Leo, Thomas, Miles, and Alan Marchant. Ben was behind the bar, and Andrew Barrett was stuck in his office in the city center, pulling an all-nighter to get some copywriting project ready for a big client. All of us looked lost without our boys.

  Thomas smiled. “That’s because when they’re here, they make their presence felt.”

  Leo nodded. “Have any of you heard a peep out of them?” He chuckled. “I pity Jarod, having his hands full of that lot.”

  “I spoke with him half an hour ago,” I told him. “They’ve been watching a film and eating popcorn. And they sounded pretty boisterous.” I was glad he had this opportunity to bond with his fellow subs. The reception they’d given him had been amazing.

  “Dorian was really keen to join them,” Alan said, staring into a squat glass of whiskey. I’d only met him recently: apparently he hadn’t been to the club for a while, something to do with his submissive, Dorian.

  “We have told you how wonderful that scene was with Dorian, haven’t we?” Leo said with a smile. “I could hardly believe it was the same boy.”

  “Any plans to collar him?” Thomas’s gaze was watchful. The hairs on my arms stood on end and the skin all down my back prickled. There was something in that glance that told me all was not what it seemed.

  Alan raised his chin and smiled at us. “Actually, yes, though it won’t be your everyday, run-of-the-mill collaring ceremony. This will be a little different.”

  “With Dorian involved, I would expect nothing less.” Leo’s words gave rise to chuckles around our table. I didn’t know Dorian, but there was clearly a story here. “Congratulations, Alan. That’s wonderful news.” There were echoes of this from the others, but Alan appeared not to notice, his attention focused on his glass. Leo gazed intently at Alan. “Care to tell me what’s on your mind?”

  Alan gave him a flash of a smile. “Nothing. The house felt too quiet with Dorian away for the night. I needed some company, that’s all.” He took a long drink of whiskey.

  “Want to try that again?” Leo’s eyes were focused on him. “And the truth this time?”

  It wasn’t just me who felt something was up, then. One by one the Doms stared at Alan, until the weight of their scrutiny registered.

  “I’ve had something on my mind, that’s all,” he said at last, “and I’ve sort of got stuck in a loop. I’ve been reflecting on this for a month, and it’s proving more and more difficult to put aside. It’s gnawing away inside me.” I could hear the pain lacing his words.

  “What is?” Thomas asked, lowering his voice.

  Alan sagged into his chair. “I… I want to go back to Berlin,” he confessed.

  His words made no sense to me, but the others exchanged intense glances. The skin on my back was prickling again.

  Leo became very still. “And why might you want to go there?” The quiet words were uttered in an authoritative tone that made my flesh crawl.

&nb
sp; What am I missing here?

  Alan lifted his chin. “Unfinished business.”

  There was no missing the multiple sharp intakes of breath around our table.

  “Don’t.” Thomas straightened, his gaze focused on Alan. “Just… don’t.” The others murmured in agreement. “Look at what you’ve accomplished with him. Leo’s right, he’s not the same boy.” He leaned forward, his voice hushed. “Supposing you did go back there. Supposing you managed to find Karl, Erich, and the others. And yes, supposing you got your revenge. What happens then? If you’re caught, can you imagine how Dorian would react? He’s risen above it. He survived it, came through it a stronger man.” Thomas’s hand shot across the table and grasped Alan around the wrist. Alan jerked his head up and stared at him. Thomas’s expression was grim. “Do you want to know how many times I’ve thought about having that bastard Curtis Rogers in front of me? How I’ve thought about tightening my hands around his throat?”

  Leo edged closer to Thomas, his arm going around his partner’s shoulder. “Easy.”

  Thomas swallowed. “I’ll never have that chance, I know that. I hope the fucker rots in prison for what he did to Peter. But that doesn’t stop me from thinking about it. The funny thing is, if I ever got the chance? I don’t think I’d do it. I don’t think it’s in me. Just like I don’t think it’s in you, Alan.” He loosened his grip on Alan’s wrist. “Don’t think like this. Focus on what you have. You’re about to claim that boy as yours. Focus on that.” He sagged into his chair, suddenly looking older.

  The emotions visible on the faces of Alan and Thomas were overwhelming. But then Thomas pulled himself together and heaved out a heavy sigh. He caught my eye and gave an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. It’s just occurred to me that this must all seem confusing to you, and ordinarily, I’d sit down with you and tell you all about it. But as it is? Right now I feel so… weary.”

  “Why don’t you go home?” Leo suggested. “Miles and I can take care of things here tonight.” Miles nodded, his gaze fixed on Thomas.

  Thomas’s smile was gentle. “To tell the truth, going home to an empty house would be worse. There have been very few nights since he came home after….” He swallowed. “Since that day when Curtis was arrested, that he’s been away from me. Maybe that accounts for my mood.”

  “Want to stay at my flat tonight, old man?” Leo’s eyes were kind. “There’s always room for you there, you know that.”

  Thomas shook his head. “I’ll be fine. I’m sure I can cope without my boy in our bed for one night.” He glanced around the table. “After all, I won’t be the only one, right?”

  “Hey, maybe we should organize our own slumber party!” Ben called out. “We could sit around and do each other’s nails and hair, and tell stories about the boys we like.” His suggestion was greeted by a chorus of guffaws and laughter. Ben grinned. “What? It was a serious suggestion. We could watch DVDs and eat popcorn, stay up late, you know, pretend we’re their age.”

  Miles cackled. “You mean, instead of going to bed with a cup of cocoa, like a bunch of old farts?” He snorted.

  Leo hit him on the arm. “You speak for yourself, pup. This is one Dom who is never going to bed with cocoa, you hear me?” He chuckled. “The day that happens, I’ll hang up my harness in shame.”

  I laughed along with them. And then it hit me. It might not have been long since Jarod had come into my life, a couple months at most, but the thought of going to sleep without him in my arms made my heart ache. I was unsure of the origins of those feelings, but in the back of my mind, all I could think was how much I missed him.

  Jarod

  THE BOWL of salad was ready, the chicken was marinating in oil and spices in the fridge, and the bread was defrosted. All it needed was for a certain Dom to walk through that door.

  It had felt strange coming home that morning to an empty house. Eli had gone to work, but there was a note waiting for me on the kitchen table, welcoming me home. That brought a smile to my face. I couldn’t put my finger on the strangeness that seemed to hang over my day. Maybe it was the thoughts still lingering from the previous night. I’d pushed my mood aside and concentrated on making sure the house was spick-and-span for when he got home.

  Not long after six, I heard the sound of his key in the front door. “Pet?”

  “In the kitchen,” I called out. A moment later Eli was in the doorway, his face alight. He dropped his jacket on the chair and grabbed me, pulling me to him. The kiss that followed pulled no punches. Eli drove his tongue deep, claiming my mouth in an all-consuming kiss. I moaned, the sound swallowed up as he explored me hungrily. When he finally broke the kiss and stepped back with a huge grin, I felt weak at the knees. “Wow.” I could hear the tremor in my voice. “I’ll have to go away for a night more often if that’s the reception I get when I come home.”

  Eli laughed and cupped my face, kissing me once more, only this time it was more tender. “Yeah, I missed you, pet.” He was almost buzzing, and something told me it was more than my return.

  “What’s happened?”

  Eli released me and let out a heartfelt sigh. “Jerry came into the office today.”

  “The guy who was hurt?”

  He nodded. “He had a cane, and he’s not sure when he’ll be working again, but he was walking.” His face shone with joy.

  “I’m so happy.” I hugged him to me. I knew Eli had been worrying about his friend. No wonder he was in such a brilliant mood.

  Eli pushed me back, his eyes sparkling. “Missed you last night, pet. Missed you in our bed.” His words sent a tingle down my spine and straight to my dick. Eli’s gaze flickered downward as if he knew. When he reached down and palmed my half-hard dick, I couldn’t help the low groan that slipped past my lips. He squeezed my length, that grin still in evidence. “Someone’s pleased to see me.”

  Then the breath caught in my throat when he sank to his knees and pressed his warm mouth to the swelling in my sweatpants. I could feel his breath through the fabric as he opened wide and took me in, pants and all, his fingers stretching the soft cotton to reveal just how hard he’d made me.

  Eli gazed up at me, his eyes bright. “Know what I like most about your sweatpants, pet?” Before I could reply, he grasped the elasticized waistband and slowly lowered it, letting my now hard dick bounce free. “Easy access,” he said, his voice husky. His grin widened when he saw my erection. “Even better—no underwear.”

  Then the head of my cock was sucked into hot wetness, and God, it felt good.

  Eli alternated between sucking me off enthusiastically and sliding his hand back and forth along my shaft, making me so hard I ached. I tried to keep still, but all I wanted to do was thrust deeper into his mouth. When he hummed around my dick, his gaze locked on mine, I knew I was being given the go-ahead. I placed my hands on the back of his head and slid my cock deep into that glorious mouth. He grabbed my balls and pulled gently on them, forcing a groan from me. When he pulled free and lowered his head to take them into his mouth, I cried out loud at the feeling.

  “Oh God, Sir, don’t stop.”

  Eli freed them and grinned at me. “No intention of stopping. Come when you’re ready, pet.” His pupils were large, barely any green showing. “And, Jarod?”

  I gazed down at him, my chest heaving, dick aching, my balls tingling. The look I got was so hot, I almost came there and then. I was dizzy with the headiness of it all: my sweatpants were around my knees, my Dom kneeling before me, his hands squeezing my arse cheeks.

  Eli grasped my cock around its base and smiled at me. “Fuck my mouth.”

  That was all I needed to let go.

  I grabbed hold of his head and thrust, Eli taking me deep into him until his nose was buried in my newly grown pubes. My hips snapped faster, the exquisite tightness of his throat around my cock just perfect.

  Too perfect.

  I howled as my balls tightened and my dick pulsed hot come down Eli’s throat. He took it all, every last d
rop, swallowing until there was nothing left. Then he cleaned the head with his tongue, long, gentle licks that made me shiver, especially when he traced a line from the glans to the base. I stood there, holding on to his shoulders, my legs shaking, my whole body trembling as minishocks jolted through me.

  Eli kissed my cock almost reverently and then rose to his feet. His lips met mine in a soft kiss, one that left me wanting more. I could taste my come there. His breathing was erratic, like mine.

  “Is dinner going to spoil?” he asked me, the huskiness in his voice sending heat to my groin. There was no way I was about to come again, not for a while at least—one of the drawbacks of age. But there was heat in my belly, spreading through me in a slow tide.

  “No, Sir,” I murmured, loving the way his arms felt around me.

  “Then I think you need to come join me in the shower.” Without waiting for a reply, Eli grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the stairs.

  I had a feeling dinner was going to be late. Then Eli gave me a predatory look that had my arse clenching.

  Oh well, I could always use the food for breakfast.

  Eli had gone to the office, looking for Thomas. I sat in the bar with a glass of water. Eli had mentioned something about a training session with Thomas, so I was spending a moment being quiet, ready to focus on what was coming.

  That was the plan, at least, until I saw Ben.

  He appeared behind the bar to take over from Kenton, the younger barman, but it was immediately obvious that his mind wasn’t on his job. When he’d given not one, but three guys the wrong change, I knew something was up. I waited until he was in front of me before leaning over the bar. “You okay?”

  Ben stopped and stared at me. “Hell. Is it that obvious?”

  I shrugged. “Maybe I’m just observant?” It felt a little awkward speaking to Ben like that, but I thought talking to someone might help him.