Endings and Beginnings Read online

  “We’re going to talk about this, you know,” Darren called out. He reached the door and opened it, pushing it wide for JJ.

  “No, we’re not,” JJ said as he stormed into the house, his bag slung over his shoulder.

  Darren sighed and quickened his pace to catch his soon-to-be submissive. “Don’t walk away when we’re talking,” he snapped.

  “You are not going to pay for my club membership, okay? I don’t like the idea, and I won’t have it.”

  God save me from stubborn men. Then he remembered why he was there. He cared for this particular stubborn man. A lot. “So, what then? You’ll just give up on the idea?”

  JJ’s lower lip trembled, but he straightened and locked gazes with Darren. “Look, I can’t afford it. I barely scrape by as it is.”

  Darren tamped down his initial irritation. Thomas had told him not to be angry, to respect JJ’s choices but not to be afraid to discuss them. And the telltale quiver of JJ’s lip told him a lot.

  “Let me ask you a question,” he said, his voice softer. “How much do you pay for that hovel?”

  JJ glared at him. “It’s not a hovel.”

  Darren raised his eyebrows. “It’s one step above living on the street and you know it, but you’re too damn stubborn to admit it. Now answer the question. How much?”

  JJ’s shoulders sagged. “One hundred and fifty pounds a week.”

  “A week?” Darren growled. “Why in hell would you pay so much to live in a place like that?”

  “Because I work part time at the club. Because I have to eat. Because I have to take the bus to get around. Because I need to wash clothes, buy new ones to replace them as they wear out. Do I need to continue, or are you getting the idea yet?”

  Darren took a step back. When he’d gone to university, he’d had everything paid for. All his life he’d worked hard to earn everything, but in the beginning he’d been given a generous leg up from his parents. It wasn’t JJ’s fault he hadn’t had the same start in life.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t think about—”

  Darren’s heart sank when JJ shook his head and headed toward the front door.

  “Wait.”

  JJ stopped and faced him.

  “I just realized something. Promise me you’ll hear me out before you answer.”

  JJ sighed. “Darren, I don’t know if—”

  “Just listen, okay?”

  JJ regarded him with large eyes and then nodded.

  Darren paced up and down his hallway. “You told me you were just scraping by. I didn’t think of it at the time, but why not just get a different job? Surely you can find one where you’d make more money.”

  JJ recoiled as if Darren had slapped him, but he persevered.

  “Tell me why, JJ,” Darren demanded. “Why not simply leave the place and look for different work?”

  “Because… because….” JJ stammered, his eyes so bloody huge, so round, his breathing erratic.

  “Spit it out. Answer my question. Why, JJ?”

  “Because I like it there!” JJ screamed. “I like it there, okay? When I went there I had a plan, but then I found out the people were really nice. They treated me well. And I made friends. I never thought I could be friendly with them, but… why does it matter?” He was shaking.

  Darren’s heart went out to him. “You didn’t want to leave because you felt at home there, didn’t you? You may have fought it, but you knew you belonged.”

  JJ looked away, and Darren knew he’d been right.

  “What if you moved in with me?”

  JJ opened his mouth, but Darren cut him off.

  “Think about it. You’d be able to do laundry here, so that saves money. We have food in the fridge, so that’s covered. Any way you look at it, it’s a good idea.”

  JJ wrung his hands. “Except you’d still be paying for everything.”

  Darren could hear the emotion in his voice. “Easy, JJ.” He waited until JJ’s breathing was more even. “Okay, then let’s try this. Give me half the money you pay for rent now. It’ll go to maintaining the house. If you want, you can save up and find a safer place to stay.”

  JJ’s brow furrowed. “It still doesn’t seem fair.” The quiver was back in his lip.

  Darren knew his stubborn boy was weakening. “Okay, you’re right. You can clean the house, do the laundry, wash the dishes, do the shopping, iron the—”

  “Hey, wait. I’m not going to be your bloody slave!”

  The indignant tone made Darren laugh. “No, you’re not. I told you, I have no interest in a slave. We’ll split the household chores. Well, except for the laundry. That’s going to be your job.”

  JJ gaped. “Oh? And why is that?”

  “Uh, because I’m not the one who leaves wet spots on the sheets now, am I?”

  JJ stared at him, mouth open. Seconds later, laughter bubbled out of him, and the mood in the hallway was transformed. JJ shook his head, smiling. “You’re not going to back down, are you?”

  “Nope,” Darren said promptly. “I’m the Dom, remember? It’s my job.” He held his arms wide. “Come here, stubborn boy.”

  Slowly, JJ moved forward until his face was buried in the curve of Darren’s neck. “You’re not the first to say that, you know,” he murmured.

  “What’s that?” Darren said softly, wrapping his arms around JJ and holding him close.

  “That I’m stubborn.”

  “No, really? I’m shocked.”

  JJ snorted, then let out a sigh. “I guess we can give it a try.”

  Darren resisted the urge to punch the air. Instead he lifted JJ’s chin with a couple of fingers and kissed him, slowly and thoroughly, loving how JJ molded his body to Darren’s, fully invested in the kiss.

  “Darren?” JJ murmured into his mouth.

  “Hmm?”

  “Take me to bed,” he whispered.

  Darren stared into lovely gray eyes. “With pleasure.”

  Chapter Twenty

  JJ AWOKE early, snuggled up in the sheets, the even sound of Darren’s breathing behind him. JJ lay still, not wanting to awaken him. He was comfortable, but his mind was anything but. The previous night’s events were still playing inside his head.

  I gave in so bloody fast.

  Not that he hadn’t known it would be inevitable. There was no way he was going to win against Darren, especially since he didn’t want to win in the first place. JJ could no longer deny it—he wanted to be with Darren. He needed it. And as for letting Darren help him become a member of Collars & Cuffs…. JJ really wanted to be there, and if this was the only way it could happen, then so be it.

  JJ smiled to himself. He wasn’t about to make it that easy for Darren, however. He might be the Dom in this relationship, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to roll over for him.

  At least not yet.

  “Why are you all the way over there?” Darren asked groggily.

  JJ turned over, and Darren gave him a lopsided grin that made his heart flutter.

  “Scoot on over to my side of the bed and give me a cuddle.”

  JJ shifted across the mattress and snuggled up against Darren’s side, his arm going around his waist. “Morning,” he said quietly, breathing in Darren’s musky scent, the smell of the warmed sheets still clinging to him.

  “So you are still talking to me,” Darren said with a chuckle.

  JJ raised his head to regard him. “Why would I not be talking to you?”

  “Because you were awfully quiet last night.” Darren’s grin widened. “Well, not all the time.”

  JJ gave a little growl. “You caught me at a weak moment. That’s all.”

  Darren grabbed him and rolled them both until JJ was under him, pinned to the mattress by his weight. Suddenly Darren was very much awake. “You didn’t feel all that weak to me,” he murmured softly, gazing into JJ’s eyes. “I definitely couldn’t describe you as passive, the way you were pushing your heels into my arse, demanding that I—”

 
“Okay, yeah, I remember, all right?” JJ’s cheeks were burning. Damn him. Darren always succeeded in making him hot, even when JJ really wanted to be pissed at him.

  Darren stroked JJ’s hair away from his forehead and kissed it. “Can I ask you something? That bag you brought here last night, does it really contain all your things?”

  JJ rolled his shoulders in a slight shrug. “As much as I need.” He stared up at Darren. “My turn to ask you something. Were you serious about me living here?”

  Darren smiled. “Well, obviously, seeing as you’re here.”

  “Yeah, but how’s this going to work?” JJ couldn’t resist teasing. “For one thing, I’m not really sure I want to live here. Last night I was too tired to argue the point with you.”

  The tiniest flicker of hurt registered in Darren’s eyes before he schooled his features, but JJ caught it. That was all it took to make him feel small and the idea of making Darren pay feel so wrong. JJ reached up and caressed Darren’s cheek. “So, the club,” he began.

  Darren nodded. “We’re both joining. Today you’re going to go into work and fill out the application form. I’ll do the same when I’ve finished work and grabbed some dinner. And tomorrow morning we can sit down and go through the contract—for real this time. You can decide what your limits are.”

  JJ gazed up at him. “You’ve got it all planned out, haven’t you?”

  Darren was so still on top of him. “I want this,” he said quietly. “More than anything. But I thought we wanted to do it together. Was I wrong?”

  JJ’s heart ached for him. “No,” he replied in a low voice. “You’re not wrong.”

  Darren smiled. “Morning breath be damned. Kiss me?”

  JJ was more than happy to oblige.

  I’M GOING to miss him.

  The thought struck him as JJ listened to the sounds of Darren getting ready to leave the house. Breakfast was done, as was the washing up. All that remained of their morning together was the delicious ache in JJ’s body and that warm, sated feeling he always got after Darren had fucked him hard and long. Only then he knew it was more than Darren’s body he was going to miss.

  I love spending time with him, talking with him, laughing, just… being with him.

  “Time for me to go.” Darren stood in the kitchen doorway, jacket slung over his shoulder, keys dangling from his fingers. “You going to see me off to work with a hug?”

  JJ walked over to him and slipped his arms around Darren’s waist. He tilted his head slightly for the kiss he knew was coming, sighing into Darren’s mouth as their lips met. Darren deepened the kiss.

  “God, you could tempt an angel to leave heaven with those lips,” he said, stroking JJ’s back. “You have me this close to calling the salon and telling them to manage without me, before whisking you back to bed.”

  JJ chuckled. “You do that, and the next time I visit the salon, Paul will be looking daggers at me.”

  Darren snorted. “Not if he likes living,” he retorted. “Or keeping his job, for that matter.” He kissed JJ once more and released him with obvious reluctance. Darren fiddled with the keys for a moment, removing one from the ring. “But on to much more important matters. This is yours,” he said, pressing a key into JJ’s palm. “You remember the alarm code?”

  JJ smiled. “301179.”

  “Smart boy.” Darren kissed him again. “And now I really must go. I’ll see you later at the club, okay?”

  Instead of moving away, however, he pulled JJ to him, his arms snaking around him to press him close to Darren’s body. JJ drank in the citrusy cologne, the crisp, clean smell of cotton, and underneath it all, the scent of his lover.

  I don’t want him to leave either.

  “God, you smell good,” Darren murmured into his hair. “And in case I forgot to tell you earlier, you were wonderful this morning. It was a truly fantastic start to my day. I know I said last night that you can have your own room, and I meant it, but I’ll be honest. I want you in my bed, every night.” His gaze met JJ’s. “You think you could live with that?”

  JJ made sure his gaze didn’t falter. “Yes, Sir.”

  Oh my God, the look on his face….

  Darren was glowing. “Thank you,” he whispered.

  JJ caught his breath when Darren rubbed a hand across his belly before sliding it downward until his fingers skated over his crotch. Darren cupped JJ’s stiff dick, already uncomfortable behind his zipper, and squeezed it gently.

  “And this is mine. No touching it until tonight.”

  JJ was sure that thudding sound was his jaw hitting the floor. “You’re kidding—aren’t you?” His heart raced when Darren’s gaze met his and he grinned. It was a wicked grin.

  “Now, why would you think that?” he said calmly. He removed his hand and planted one last kiss on JJ’s lips. “Later.”

  Darren walked out of the kitchen. Minutes later came the sound of the front door closing, and JJ was alone in the house.

  Alone and horny. Damn him.

  JJ was still reeling from Darren’s last “command.” If this is a taste of what it’s going to be like when he’s being all Dom-y, what the fuck will it be like when he’s trained? And my Dom for real?

  JJ wasn’t sure if he was scared or dying of anticipation.

  From the living room came the sound of his phone warbling out the arrival of a text. JJ grinned. This was likely to be Darren, sending him a message to rile him further. JJ strode into the room, ready to send a reply on the evils of texting while driving. His good humor faded, however, when he saw the name of the sender. Mum.

  He stared at the screen, his finger poised over the buttons. It had been a while since he’d heard from her and longer still since he’d contacted her. With a sigh he opened the message.

  Are you okay? Not heard from you for ages. Let me know you’re okay, please.

  JJ clenched his jaw, aware of a throb in his temples, the familiar annoyance tightening his chest. But after a moment his usual anger ebbed away, as a comment from Darren came to mind.

  He said she must really have loved me because she didn’t listen to Curtis. She kept me. She wanted me.

  A small part of him argued that she’d still lied. Repeatedly. An even smaller part of him argued that maybe he needed to think things through. He placed his phone back on the coffee table and glanced around, searching for something to do before it was time to go to work. The room was clean and tidy, as was the rest of the house. Darren was clearly house trained.

  JJ wandered into the kitchen to make some tea. While he waited for the kettle to boil, he noticed the white slow cooker sitting on the worktop.

  Now there’s an idea….

  JJ opened the fridge and peered inside. When he saw a plastic package containing diced beef, he smiled to himself and removed it, then placed it on the worktop. After a minute or two scanning the contents of Darren’s cabinets, he’d found flour, onions, mushrooms, garlic, herbs, tomato purée, stock cubes, and a bottle of red wine. Perfect. Just what he needed to put together a beef casserole that would cook slowly all day and be ready for Darren when he got home.

  JJ hummed quietly as he prepared the ingredients, throwing everything into the stoneware pot, already warming. The thought of Darren’s face when he discovered JJ’s surprise gave him a nice warm glow inside.

  Then it struck him. While he loved how Darren made him feel in bed, it was how the man made him feel out of it that made JJ feel special.

  WHEN HE arrived at the club, JJ went straight to Thomas’s office, hoping he was in there. As he raised his hand to knock, the door opened and Leo came out. He smiled to see JJ.

  “Good evening. You’re early, aren’t you?”

  JJ nodded. “I wanted to see Thomas before my shift started.”

  Leo stepped aside and gestured with a wide flourish. “Be my guest. Thomas will be here in a minute. If you hurry, you can grab the last cup of coffee before he shows up.” He winked and walked away.

  JJ knew better. He
’d heard about getting between Thomas and his coffee. He went into the office, sat at the desk, and waited. When his boss walked in, he greeted JJ and went straight to the coffee machine.

  The coffee jug in hand, he turned to JJ. “Did you want some?”

  JJ smiled politely. “No, thank you. Leo offered, but I didn’t want to drain the jug.”

  Thomas snorted. “Of course he did. Cheeky sod.” He sat down, mug in hand, and leaned back, studying JJ. “Are you okay? I was a little concerned after Darren spoke with me.”

  JJ cleared his throat. “Yeah, sorry about that. I had a bit of a hiccup yesterday.”

  Thomas nodded. “We all encounter bumps in the road now and again. But you’re okay now?”

  “Yes,” JJ assured him. “And I’m here to sign on the dotted line—again.” He knew his cheeks were probably flushed. “Darren will be in later to do the same.”

  Thomas grinned but quickly straightened his face. “Sorry, but I had a case of déjà vu for a moment.”

  JJ knew without a doubt his cheeks were pink, judging by their heat. “I know. And Darren will be sorting out the fees.” To his relief Thomas said nothing but slid the form across the desk to him. JJ filled in his name and all the relevant personal details, but then he came unstuck.

  “Is there a problem?” Thomas asked quietly.

  JJ gave a nervous laugh. “This is going to sound stupid, but… I don’t know all my address. You see, I’ve just moved in with—I’ve just got a new place to live, and I only know the street and the number.”

  To JJ’s mortification, Thomas gave him a knowing smile.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll ask your… landlord for the rest when he comes in later.”

  Damn. Of course Thomas knew. Thomas knows everything.

  JJ pushed back his chair and rose to his feet. “In that case, I’ll leave this with you, shall I? I’ll go relieve Kenton and get to work.”

  “There is one thing I should say before you go,” Thomas said quickly, rising and stepping out from behind his desk.