Kel's Keeper Read online

  Luc grabbed it from the hook in the kitchen where he kept his keys, and went out of the house. Kel’s car was in the driveway, and judging by the state of the ground beneath it, Kel hadn’t moved it for a while. That only added to Luc’s sense of foreboding.

  He went around to the front door, not bothering to ring the bell. After weeks of his knocks going unanswered, there seemed little point. Luc inserted the key into the lock, praying there wasn’t a chain attached on the other side. Thankfully, the door opened, and Luc stepped quietly into the silent interior. He peered into the sitting room, then the dining room, but there was no sign of Kel. When he entered the kitchen, the sight was enough to stop him in his tracks.

  Dishes were piled high on every countertop. The dishwasher door was open, and Luc peeked inside. It was full of dirty dishes. The sink was full too, and the trash looked like it hadn’t been taken out for weeks.

  Luc noted the pizza boxes and take-out cartons. At least he’s eating something. It was only when he took a closer look at one corner of the kitchen that the full extent of the situation hit him.

  Bottles. Lots and lots of empty bottles. And most of it was the hard stuff, Luc was dismayed to see. There were empty cans and bottles of hard cider, and bottles of wine too. It appeared as if Kel had drunk his way through the contents of a bar.

  Dear God, what state is he in, if he’s drunk all that?

  Luc checked the rest of the first floor, but there was still no sign. He paused at the foot of the stairs, his nostrils flaring. The smell of stale alcohol was very noticeable. Luc mounted the stairs, his heart pounding. This is not good. This is way worse than I thought. Already he was kicking himself for not charging in sooner.

  When he reached the door to Kel’s room, Luc paused, steeling himself for whatever lay beyond it, and praying fervently that the boy hadn’t choked to death on his own vomit. He pushed open the door and heaved an internal sigh of relief at the sight that awaited him.

  Kel was in his bed, only the top of his head visible above the comforter, but he was clearly breathing. The room was in semidarkness, and the reek of alcohol was at its strongest, accompanied by the smell of stale sweat. Luc crossed the floor, put his hand to the lump beneath the covers, and gave Kel a light shake.

  Nothing.

  Luc gave him a stronger shake, and Kel’s groggy voice shattered the quiet. “Wha?”

  “Kel,” Luc said urgently. “It’s Luc.”

  “Go ’way.”

  Like Luc was going to do that. “No, I’m not going anywhere. Remember?” He slowly drew back the comforter, only to have Kel seize it from him and pull it back over himself. Half-closed brown eyes regarded him with incredulity.

  “How’d you get in here?”

  “I have a key. You mom gave it to me. Remember, she asked me to check on the house?”

  Kel propped himself up on his elbows, and the comforter slid lower, revealing…

  Well, I certainly didn’t expect that.

  Kel had a tattoo, a pattern of black swirls and spikes that covered his right shoulder, his pec and came halfway down his upper arm. There was also a lot more body hair than Luc had been prepared for. Before Luc could utter another word, Kel set his jaw. “I want it back, then I want you to leave.”

  Luc slowly shook his head. “No. You need help.”

  Kel’s eyes blazed, and he sat bolt upright. “You. Need. To. Go. Now.”

  “And let you keep doing this to yourself? Kel, you’re better than this.”

  Kel’s jaw dropped, then he snapped it shut. “You need to go,” he repeated through gritted teeth. “I don’t want you seeing me like this. I’m a pathetic excuse for a human being. Help me? You couldn’t help me. I’m a hopeless case. I’m worse than useless.”

  Luc’s stomach turned over. What the fuck had happened? “I have no idea where all this is coming from,” he said, doing his best to keep his voice even. “I know you, Kel. You’re nothing like the person you just described.”

  Kel stared up at him, a dazed look in his eyes, his mouth open. “Know me? You don’t know me! Even my parents didn’t know me!” His chest rose and fell rapidly, his breathing harsh and staccato. “If they did, they’d have shunned me for the abomination that I am.”

  Abomination? “Kel, I—”

  “I was not a good son!” Kel yelled, the cords of his neck standing out. “And if they’d seen into my heart, they’d have been horrified. I went against their teachings.” He brought his left hand down hard on his right pec, wincing. “This. This would have given them so much pain, and I still had it done, knowing that.” His eyes glistened. “And there was worse than this. So many things I wanted to tell them, but I couldn’t, because they’d have been so damned disappointed in me. And now it’s too late. They’re never going to know what I’m really like. And I can’t bear that.” Tears spilled over his cheeks, his shoulders shook, and he sobbed.

  Luc knew what he was seeing. In an instant, he sat on the bed, drew back the comforter, and pulled Kel into his lap, his arms around him. It was no surprise when the boy threw his arms around Luc’s neck and buried his face in Luc’s chest, his knees up to his chest, harsh sobs racking his body. “It’s okay,” Luc whispered. “Let it out. It’s all right to let it out, Kel.” Hot tears soaked into his shirt.

  “I… can’t… stop… it from… hurting…” Kel choked out between sobs.

  “It’s supposed to hurt.” Luc held onto him, one arm around his back, the other around his legs, cradling him, aware of the tremors that jolted through Kel’s frame. “This is grief. You’ve held on to your emotions so tightly, but now you have to let go.”

  Kel’s sobs increased in volume and frequency, and Luc remained silent, gently rocking him in his arms, a weeping young man dressed only in his briefs, curled up against Luc’s chest and clinging to him. Luc’s arms were full to capacity: Kel might have been shorter than him, but he’d obviously been working out at some point. Little by little the tears subsided, and Kel’s breathing became less erratic. Luc brought his rocking to a halt, his nose buried in Kel’s hair. Finally, Kel moved gingerly, as though embarrassed by his position.

  Luc let go, and Kel sat on the bed beside him. He sniffed, then wiped a hand across his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  “You have nothing to apologize for. If you knew how long I’ve been waiting for you to show some emotion over their deaths….” Luc stroked Kel’s hair. “It’s perfectly normal. And nothing to be embarrassed about. Although….” Luc wrinkled his nose.

  Kel swallowed. “I guess I smell a bit ripe, huh?”

  “Just a little,” Luc lied. “Nothing a good shower wouldn’t put right. If you think you can stay upright for that long. You might be a little shaky on your legs.” He stood, and held out a hand to Kel, who took it and pulled himself to his feet. Luc watched him anxiously. “Well?”

  Kel expelled a long shuddering breath. “I can manage a shower.”

  Luc nodded in approval. “And while you’re doing that, I’ll go downstairs and make you something to eat.” He cocked his head to one side. “That’s assuming there’s food in your kitchen. Edible food.”

  Kel bit his lip. “Yeah, about that…”

  Luc rolled his eyes. “Get washed. I’ll go to my place and raid the refrigerator. Take as long as you like.”

  For the first time since Luc had entered his room, there was a flash of the old Kel. “Is that Luc-speak for ‘you stink’?”

  Luc laughed. “Shower, dirty boy. Then I’ll feed you. And then… we can talk.” He felt a good deal lighter. That had been a cathartic moment, and while Kel still had a way to go, the outlook was hopeful.

  What puzzled him were a couple of things Kel had said. At this point Luc wasn’t sure if he was going to leave them for now, or bring them out into the open. Because sooner or later, they had to talk about them.

  Kel leaned against the shower wall, resting his aching head against the cool tiles, letting the water pummel his skin.

  Oh my God, w
here did that come from?

  Maybe Luc was right. Maybe he’d finally started grieving for his parents. Guilt had been at the root of it all, sparked by his granddad’s visit. Now that he’d let go of the pain that had been building up inside him, Kel could admit certain truths.

  Maybe it was better that they didn’t know me.

  He was mortified Luc had seen him in such a state, and even more so that Kel had spoken to him so harshly. He didn’t deserve that. But the way Luc had held him, cradling him in his arms… Something inside Kel had responded to that. Wrapped in strong arms, rocked gently by someone who obviously cared for him…

  Damn, it had felt amazing.

  It was only then that Kel recalled some of the things he’d said, and his chest tightened. Did I just out myself? Kel hadn’t come out in so many words, but the implication was there. At least, he felt it was. And if he picked up on it? Kel knew from experience that Luc didn’t miss much. Yet something inside him told him Luc would be okay with it. Nothing much, just a feeling, but it was there.

  He won’t be like my parents.

  At least, Kel hoped not.

  He spent the next ten minutes thoroughly cleaning every bit of him, and when he was done and dried off, he searched through his closet for a clean pair of jeans and a T-shirt. He flushed at the thought of how the house must look to Luc.

  Maybe that’s what he wants to talk about.

  Kel’s headache hadn’t dissipated, not that he was surprised. He seemed to have been living with a perpetual headache recently, though that was probably due to the amount of alcohol he’d consumed.

  Never again. Submerging his problems in a haze of alcohol hadn’t gotten rid of them. His digestive system had to be a mess. He’d tried to eat regularly, but his appetite just wasn’t there. I need to get back to normal. Except what was normal now?

  Everything had changed.

  Chapter Seven

  “How did you know?” Kel smiled broadly when he saw the bowls of tomato soup and the plate of grilled cheese sandwiches. He pulled out a chair and sat down at the dining table, feeling more alert than he had in a while.

  Luc laughed. “Sometimes you really need comfort food, and there’s nothing that says comfort food like tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich.” He coughed. “Even if I did have to find a space first to prepare the food.”

  Kel stilled, then realized what was different. “We’re eating in the dining room.” Every time Luc had come round to eat, it had been in the kitchen.

  “The kitchen table is a little… occupied right now. I could have taken out the trash, but I didn’t. That will be your chore when we’re done eating.”

  Kel said nothing, but took a bite out of his sandwich. It was delicious. He sighed happily. “This is really good.”

  Luc waved his hand. “It’s difficult to screw up making this.” He started on his food, blowing at the hot soup in his spoon.

  There were things Kel couldn’t let go unsaid, and he wasn’t about to wait until they’d finished eating.

  “Thank you.” It seemed so little, but he meant those two words with all his heart.

  “I suppose I’d better return the key.” Luc reached into his jeans pocket, but Kel stopped him.

  “Keep it. I feel better knowing you have it.” He smiled. “Mom must have trusted you to give it to you in the first place.”

  Luc paused before taking his next mouthful of soup. “I might not have agreed with their beliefs—wait, that’s wrong. I believe in God, as they did. I just got the impression it wasn’t the same God.”

  Kel stared at him. Those could have been his own words.

  “Kel? Eat.”

  Kel went back to his soup and sandwich. He ate every mouthful, aware of Luc’s gaze focused on him. When he was finished, he wiped his lips with the napkin Luc had laid beside his bowl, then left it on the empty plate. “I think I needed that.”

  Luc put down his own napkin. “I’m not going to ask why you decided to drink your way through Alamance County’s entire stock of alcohol.” His lips twitched, and Kel was grateful for the touch of humor. “But you’re going to promise me that you won’t do anything like that again.”

  “I promise. Besides, I think you took away my reasons to drink when you let me pour out my heart and soak your shirt at the same time.” When Luc frowned, Kel sighed. “Booze numbed the pain. I didn’t feel anything anymore, and that was just fine. Letting it all out took away some of the pain.”

  “I’m glad you said ‘some’. I wouldn’t have believed you if you said all of it.” Luc’s warm brown eyes were compassionate. “It’ll take time. And I don’t think you’ll ever be totally free of it. When we love people, we set ourselves up for pain when they’ve gone.” He leaned back in his chair. “There’s a lot we have to talk about, but I think our time would be better spent putting this house back to its rightful condition.”

  “Our time? I thought I was taking out the trash.”

  Luc chuckled. “I am not that cruel. Cleaning up that kitchen is going to take up most of the afternoon, and I wouldn’t inflict that on you in your… delicate state.” When Kel blinked, he laughed. “I’ve been there. So I’ll lend a hand, and we’ll work together. Deal?”

  Kel nodded. “Deal.” Then he regretted the action when a fresh spike of pain hit at both temples. “I may have to take an aspirin first. Or maybe two.”

  Luc reached into his pocket and removed a small white bottle. He opened it and shook out two pills. “Here. I brought these with me when I came back with the food. I couldn’t be certain you’d have some in the house, not after your recent escapades.” He handed them to Kel.

  “They weren’t escapades,” Kel said before swallowing them with a mouthful of water. “That implies some fun activity, and the last few weeks definitely weren’t that.”

  Luc pocketed the bottle. “Which brings me to another point. When the house is clean again, we need to make a major change, but that can wait until later.”

  Kel regarded him nervously. “That sounds ominous.”

  “It needn’t be. Just as long as you realize all my suggestions are made with your best interests at heart.”

  It was on the tip of Kel’s tongue to tell Luc he shouldn’t be making suggestions that affected Kel, but he quickly quashed the urge. Luc had already proved himself to be a friend. I need to trust him, like Mom did.

  Kel got up from the table and collected the dishes. “Well, if I wanna find out what this major change is, I’d better get started, hadn’t I?” He took them through into the kitchen and stopped dead at the sight. Somehow it looked worse without seeing it in an alcohol-induced stupor. “Wow. I made a mess, didn’t I?”

  Luc was at his side. “Then let me share with you a little gem that my grandma shared with me, many years ago.”

  “What little gem was that?”

  Luc leaned in and whispered, “Shit wipes off.” And before Kel could react, he pointed to the pile of boxes and cartons. “Trash. Now.”

  Kel couldn’t resist. “Yes, sir.”

  Luc had to admit, Kel had worked like a trooper. The countertops gleamed, the floor was clean, and there wasn’t a bottle in sight. The stove looked as if it had never been used, and the refrigerator had been cleaned out too, which was great, because something had curled up and died in one of the salad drawers.

  When they were done, Luc poured two glasses of water and brought them through into the dining room. Kel followed him, and they sat at the polished dark mahogany table, with its silver candlesticks at the center.

  “Something I meant to mention earlier.” Luc pointed to Kel’s right side. “That tattoo. Is that new?”

  Kel nodded. “I had it done after New Year’s. They never saw it. I can only imagine what my dad would’ve said. My mom too, for that matter. They weren’t fans of tattoos.”

  Luc studied him thoughtfully. “Is that what you meant when you said you’d gone against their teachings?”

  Kel stilled, and for a second ther
e, Luc was convinced he wasn’t going to answer. Then he sighed. “Leviticus 19, verse 28. ‘You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh, nor tattoo any marks on you: I am the Lord.’”

  Luc rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know that verse too.” He grimaced in mock horror. “Then it’s a good thing they never saw my piercings.” He chuckled at Kel’s slight start and his widened eyes. “But that’s another story. I hate to break it to you, but all kids rebel against their parents, even if it’s only in a small way. That tattoo is your rebellion. And by the way? I think it’s beautiful.”

  Kel flushed. “Thank you.” Then he swallowed hard, and Luc had a flash of insight.

  “That wasn’t the only one of their teachings you went against, was it?”

  His eyes wide, Kel shook his head.

  Luc sighed. “I think I can guess. And if it’s what I think it is, all I have to say is, you’re young. You have all these hormones playing havoc with your body. I’m going to guess they brought you up to abstain from sex until marriage.” He paused, watching for Kel’s reaction.

  Another hard swallow. “Yes.”

  Bingo. “You’re twenty-four. If they expected you to be a virgin, then I have to say they didn’t know anything about kids. Nowadays, expecting abstinence is just…. It’s nigh on impossible. There are too many influences out there. Kids today know more about sex than I ever knew at their age. And I’m not saying that’s wrong. We just have this prudish attitude to sex in this country, and it’s not healthy. So—”

  “But I am,” Kel blurted out.

  “Am what?”

  A red stain crawled up from under the neckline of Kel’s white T-shirt, finally settling on his cheeks. “A virgin,” he whispered.

  It was Luc’s turn to be surprised. “Oh my God.”

  “Trust me, I’ve thought about it, but every time I did? It was like my dad was standing next to me, and my dick shriveled to the size of a pea.” Kel lowered his head. “I guess when you hear things so often, they become etched into your brain. So no. I couldn’t go against that teaching.” He raised his chin and gave a thin smile. “Hebrews 13 verse 4, and a whole lot of other verses I could name referring to sexual immorality.”