Dom of Ages Page 6

  “I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed taking care of you. Since Master Phillip died, I’ve been alone, and it took me coming into your house to realize just how lonely I’d been. I would have done anything to stay and make you happy. Submissive, slave, or even just houseboy, I would have done it gladly, because I finally felt whole again.”

  Eli picked the collar up and smiled at me. “I know we have a lot to discuss, but for tonight, here at the club, would you wear this for me? I want everyone to see that you’re mine, and I’m very proud of that fact.”

  “Yes, Sir. I would be honored.”

  He pointed at the floor, a wide grin playing on his face, and I hurried to kneel at Eli’s side, my head down. How I’d missed this position. When Eli touched my neck and slid the collar back where it belonged, I twitched slightly. He stroked my nape with gentle fingers, rubbing gently.

  “You’re doing well, pet. I’m very proud to be here with you.”

  My heart thumped hard. It had been too long since I’d heard those words. And then it registered: he’d called me pet. Warmth spread out from somewhere deep inside me, filling me, bringing with it a sense of peace. He understood that I wasn’t a boy, and it wouldn’t make sense for him to call me that, but he wanted to show me that he claimed me as his. Warmth infused me. I was Eli’s pet.

  Yeah, I could definitely live with that.

  “What’s going on here, then?” I heard a lilting voice ask. I tensed.

  It was quiet for a moment before Eli replied. “I’m here with my pet. Is there a problem?” There was a new edge to his voice, one I hadn’t heard before.

  The man laughed. “He’s pretty old to be a pet. Maybe you should put him down and get a new one.”

  My belly rolled over, and my throat tightened. Eli increased the pressure of his hand on my neck. “That’s disrespectful. Would you say something like that to any other Dom?”

  So the speaker was a submissive. Something coiled in the pit of my stomach, a feeling of uneasiness and fear.

  “I’d be a better sub for you.” His words tasted of arrogance.

  I felt the tears welling up. I should have known this was going to happen. Any happiness I’d felt at being Eli’s pet was chewed up and spat out as reality hit hard. That last week had been wonderful, but we couldn’t stay at home all the time. He’d want to go to the clubs. Eli might make the right noises and say it was fine, but I knew that eventually he’d see what everyone else saw. I was an embarrassment to Eli, and no matter where we went, this was going to happen again. And again. So why prolong the inevitable? I pushed up off the floor and turned to him. “I’m sorry, Sir. I hope you’ll forgive me.”

  I spun around and fled the club, too mortified to see Eli’s face. The other sub was right. He deserved someone he could show off. It would never be me.

  All I longed for right then was Master Phillip’s arms around me, that gentle voice in my ear.

  Eli

  I WATCHED as Jarod fled the club, and my anger was almost a living thing. I stood and glared at the sub, who had the smarmiest smile on his face.

  “You disrespectful little son of a bitch. How the hell you got into this club is beyond me. What you just did goes against everything our community values. I’d say you should be ashamed of yourself, but it’s obvious that’s not going to happen.”

  As my voice rose, more people started watching. I should have felt bad about the situation, but there was no way I’d ever be bringing Jarod back here. When the bartender of the club came to the table to find out what was going on, I explained the situation to him. He stepped back and looked from the sub to me.

  “You have to admit, this is a peculiar situation,” he began, almost hesitantly. “You can’t really blame people for being uncomfortable about it.”

  I swear my jaw must have hit the floor. “You’re condoning what he said?”

  He held his hands up in surrender. “No, not exactly. You have to know you’re going to get comments, that’s all I’m saying. You need to have your… boy prepared for it.”

  I fished my membership card out of my wallet, tore it in half and dropped the pieces on the table. “Thank you for your club. It was truly a learning experience. I won’t be coming back.” I strode out of the club without a single backward glance, pulling my phone from my pocket as I did so. I found Jarod’s number and called. Nothing. I let it ring and ring, waiting desperately for the sound of his voice. Still nothing.

  Then it hit me. I knew nothing about Jarod; where he lived, who his friends were…. It was not a pleasant realization.

  Ben’s right. What a bastard I am.

  The thought of Ben made me pause. I had to talk to someone. I called him and waited. It was only then that it occurred to me why he wasn’t answering immediately. The likelihood was that he was working at Collars & Cuffs.

  “’Lo?” The background was filled with the sound of loud chatter and soft jazz.

  “Ben, you got a minute?”

  “Hang on.” I heard a low muttered conversation and then everything grew quieter. “Okay, Kenton’s got the bar, but I’ll have to be quick. There’s a demonstration on and these nights are always hectic.”

  “Ben, I’ve fucked up again.” The words burst out of me.

  There was a brief pause. “Okay, what’s happened?”

  Quickly I filled him in on the situation.

  He groaned. “Now maybe you’ll listen when I tell you to come check out my club.” He snorted. “Like Leo or Thomas would let anyone—Dom or sub—get away with that. And that bartender should’ve known better too.” Ben let out a sigh. “Nothing you can do, mate, in the circumstances. You want my advice? Go home and wait for him to call. I’d come over, but it’s madness here.” He chuckled. “As you probably heard.”

  “Thanks for the thought.”

  “It’ll be okay, Eli.” His tone was reassuring. “But let me know when you hear from him, yeah?”

  “Sure.” I hung up and walked toward my car, the keys already in my hand. My guts were in turmoil. Where are you, Jarod? Throughout the ten-minute drive home, all I could see was that tormented expression on his face, those eyes bright with tears that threatened to spill any second. If we’d had the opportunity to speak more, to build a relationship, Jarod would’ve known that his age didn’t matter to me.

  But I hadn’t taken the time to get to know him. And didn’t that make me feel like shit?

  If he calls, if he comes back, I’ll do things differently.

  All I could do now was hope I had the opportunity.

  Jarod

  I SAT in the folly that overlooked Heaton Park and listened to the birds chirping away to herald the dawn. I must have been sitting there on the wooden bench for hours. I was numb from the cold that was seeping into me, yet a thought warmed me internally.

  It won’t be long now.

  I had no idea exactly how long it would take. My mind focused on those strong arms that would soon encircle me, the broad chest where I would once again lay my head, those soft lips that would press against my temple. A glance at my wrists showed that the flow of blood had slowed down, and a momentary flare of panic pulsed through me. Had I cut deep enough? I looked around for my penknife but it must have fallen to the ground.

  It had to be enough.

  “I’m ready, Master,” I whispered. My head was muzzy and the birdsong grew less distinct. There was a tingling in my arms and legs. I rose unsteadily to my feet, and my legs gave way under me, sending me tumbling to the ground. I tried to rise, but a wave of weakness flowed through me.

  “I’m disappointed in you, love.”

  My eyes unfocused. I couldn’t see who was speaking, but that voice….

  “Is this what I gave up my life for? I died trying to save other people, and you’re just going to throw it away. I thought I trained you better than that.” I could hear the sorrow in his voice. “For all the years we were together I thought you were the strongest man I knew. You were giving, compassionate, car
ing. Now? You’re just a coward.”

  His words sent a shockwave rippling through me. “Master Phillip?” It couldn’t be real. For one thing, I was still alive.

  “Give up if you want to, but know that my heart hurts because you’re also throwing away the life we had together. The one that meant more to me than anything ever has. If that’s all I meant to you, then I guess we never really knew each other at all. Good-bye, Jarod.”

  I sat upright, screaming. My clothes were soaked with the light rain that had begun to fall, saturating the ground I lay upon, the grass cold against my skin. It wasn’t real. Master Phillip would never say anything so cruel to me.

  Would he?

  My wrists throbbed. The bleeding had stopped, but I felt so light-headed. My heart ached worse. I could imagine Master Phillip saying those words to me, could hear the hurt in his voice. It was my fault. I tried to stand, only to fall back to the ground, no strength left in my body.

  That earlier flare of panic swelled and surged through me, my heart beating faster. I pulled out my mobile and found the number I needed.

  “Jarod?” he answered breathlessly.

  “Sir? I-I don’t want to die.”

  Eli

  I HAD the car keys in my hand and was out the door before Jarod even told me where he was. I didn’t understand what he meant by not wanting to die, but it frightened me to my core.

  “Where are you?” I demanded, opening the car door and getting behind the wheel.

  “The folly, Heaton Park.” He sounded weak, and just like that my heart started hammering.

  “How did you get in?” Surely all the gates were locked at this hour. The sun was just over the horizon. I switched on the engine, almost flooding it in my haste.

  “P-pedestrian entrance, near Sainsburys.”

  “I’m on my way.” I pulled away from the curb, the tires squealing.

  “Hurry, Sir.” The phone went dead.

  Fuck.

  I drove in a panic through the semideserted streets, thankful for the lack of traffic. My mind was racing the whole time as I negotiated the familiar route. By the time I reached the park entrance and switched off the engine, I was frantic.

  What have you done, Jarod?

  I pushed open the gate and ran along the driveway toward the boating lake and the small hill where the folly was situated. My heart pounded and my stomach clenched when I saw a figure lying on the ground. I raced up the hill and fell to my knees beside him. Jarod’s eyes were closed. I nearly threw up when I saw the blood caked on his wrists. Then I caught sight of a penknife, its silvery blade bloodied. Shock thrummed through me. Oh, fucking hell.

  “Jarod?” I said softly as I pulled him up. His skin was ghostly pale, his breathing shallow. I hefted him, dead weight in my arms. There was nothing for it but to hoist him onto my shoulder in a fireman’s lift. I struggled down the hill and back along the path to the gate, Jarod growing heavier with each step. I held on to him tightly. He was mine, and I’d be damned if I would lose him.

  I struggled to unlock the car and then got him into the seat. I buckled him in and hurried to the driver’s side. When I slammed my door, he stirred and his eyes fluttered open. He looked dazed, uncertain.

  “Why did you do that?” I snapped, then held my hand up. “I’m sorry. Are you all right?” The car engine roared into life once more, and I backed out of the driveway.

  He nodded, then choked out, “I’m sorry.” Tears streamed down his cheeks as he continued to babble apologies, his arms crossing over his chest, his wrists held up.

  “We’ll talk later. After I take you to the hospital.” I shifted into a higher gear and headed through Blakeley toward the city center.

  His hand flashed out, grabbing my wrist. “No hospital, please!”

  “You’ve got to be kidding. You need medical attention.”

  “Please, Sir,” he said weakly. His head fell back against the rest. “I… I don’t want anyone else seeing what… what I did. Is there anyone you can take me to?”

  I thought quickly. “Maybe.” I pulled over to the curb and got out my phone. I scrolled through my contacts and pressed Call, hoping Will was still an early riser who liked to jog first thing in the morning. I waited for the call to connect, my gaze fixed on Jarod.

  “Wow. Don’t tell me you want to join me for my morning run,” Will said with a wry chuckle.

  I didn’t waste any time. “Will, I need help. There’s been… an accident.”

  “Where are you?” His manner changed instantly. “Can you get to me or shall I come to you?”

  “I’m about fifteen minutes from your surgery, in the car.” One glance at Jarod brought me little relief. His breathing was still labored, his skin far too pale. I hoped it would be enough time.

  “I’ll meet you there and open up, ready for you.” With that, he was gone. I pulled out into the road.

  Jarod turned his head toward me. “Who… is Will?” he croaked.

  “He’s a friend of mine. We used to run together, before I got my present job and my working hours changed. He also happens to be a GP.” What I didn’t mention was that he’d also been a member of a BDSM club that I used to frequent. That was how we’d first met.

  “Oh.” Jarod fell silent. I drove in silence, focused on the sound of his breathing. Thankfully it seemed to grow less erratic. By the time we arrived at Will’s surgery, I had to nudge Jarod’s shoulder to awaken him.

  “We’re here.”

  Jarod blinked and looked around him. “Is that Will?”

  I saw Will walking briskly toward the car, his expression serious. “Yeah. He’s a good man, okay?”

  Jarod gave a single nod. Will peered in through the passenger car window, and his eyes widened. He yanked open the door and helped Jarod out of the car, his arm around Jarod’s waist. Will’s gaze met mine, and I knew the questions would come later. Will guided Jarod to the front door of the surgery, and I hurried ahead to hold it open. Once inside, Will and Jarod went into his office.

  “Take a seat,” Will called out over his shoulder, “while I see to your friend.” The door closed behind them.

  I sank into one of the comfortable chairs in the waiting room and closed my eyes, trying to let the panic recede. Little by little my heart settled down to its usual rhythm as my state of heightened anxiety diminished.

  About twenty minutes later, the door opened and Will came out, alone. He walked over to me and sat in the chair next to mine.

  “An accident?” His eyebrows arched.

  I let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know what happened. He was distraught last night after an incident at the club, and he ran. He called me this morning, begging for help.” I paused to take in a deep breath. “How is he?”

  “Judging by the state of his clothing, he hadn’t lost a great deal of blood, thank goodness. Thankfully he didn’t cut too deeply, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation now.”

  I shivered. I didn’t want to think about that.

  “I’ve stitched him up and given him a sedative.” He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. “That man is a mess, Eli.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He broke down. He was crying about how he’d disappointed you and dishonored someone called Phillip.” He shook his head. “There’s a lot of pain inside him.”

  I began to understand. Jarod had never healed from his loss, and it was eating away at him. Without talking to him, I could only guess the depths of his pain, the loneliness he’d suffered, and the soul-deep ache he felt. I was angry, not at all with Jarod, but with myself. I’d allowed this to happen because I was in a hurry to satisfy my needs. I thought about calling Ben, but what would I have said? He’d been right all along? Of course he had. He’d grown a lot as a man and as a Dom since he’d accepted Scott into his life. He’d stumbled, sure, but there wasn’t a Dom alive who didn’t at some point or other.

  It looked like I had some growing to do too. It was up to me to stand up, dust myself
off, and make things right for me and for Jarod.

  “Can I see him?”

  Will glanced toward the door. “He’s groggy, and I wouldn’t take any stock in what he says. I think everything finally crashed in on him. How much do you really know about him?”

  “Not enough,” I admitted. “I’m going to fix that, though. At least if he lets me in.”

  A warm hand on my shoulder and a sympathetic squeeze. “He needs you, and I think this episode showed him the truth.”

  “Truth?”

  “We had a talk while I was patching him up. He’s lonely. All of his friends sort of fell by the wayside, and he was alone. He needs friends, a support network, and most of all, he needs to feel again. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  A light switch flicked in my head, memories of Jarod kneeling at my bed, of making me breakfast naked, of those amazing days where he simply existed to serve me. Yeah, it had been absolute bliss for me, but his needs were never addressed. What would he do if I hugged him? If I held him close and whispered to him that I wanted to know and take his pain as my own? That his fears were mine to address? “Yes, I know exactly what you’re saying.”

  Finally, after searching for something for the last year, I’d found it in my own kitchen, bedroom, and life, and I was ready to claim it.

  “Thank you, Will. Thanks for taking care of my—” I bit back the word that was on the tip of my tongue. My pet.

  Will’s eyes went wide. “He’s yours?”

  I gave a small smile. “He’s the one I want, yes.”

  Will’s face broke into a broad smile. “I never thought you’d find someone. Leave it to you to be untraditional.” He chuckled. “He can rest here for a while; then you can take him home.” He rose to his feet. “Come see your boy.”

  Jarod

  THE DOOR creaked a little as it opened, and I caught a glimpse of Eli stepping into the room. I turned my head away, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes. I’d messed up so badly. I didn’t want to die, but I was tired of being alone, and after what happened at the club, there would be no way Eli would want me back.