Desire & Denial (Southern Boys Book 3) Read online

  “Nibbled? You sure about that?”

  Kendis chuckled. “I know teeth marks when I see ’em.” He jerked his head toward the bike shop. “Think Del’s got a paper clip I can have?”

  Jon stared at him like he was speaking Martian. “A paper clip?”

  “Humor me. Go see if he’s got one.” Kendis chuckled as Jon trudged toward the building, shaking his head and muttering. Kendis called out after him, “Oh, and some tape? Duct tape or something like it?”

  “Anything else while I’m at it?” The note of sarcasm was obvious. A minute later he was back, holding the tiny clip in one hand, and a roll of tape in the other. Kendis took the paper clip and straightened it, aware of Jon’s incredulous gaze. Carefully, he pushed one end of the clip into the center of the broken cable, then brought the two ends together, easing the remaining part of the paper clip into the other exposed end.

  “Tape, please?”

  Jon slapped the roll into Kendis’s waiting palm. Kendis tore off a length and wrapped it around the cable, sealing the new connection. He straightened. “Okay. Try it now.”

  Jon climbed behind the wheel, and seconds later, the engine roared into life. He switched it off, and then got out of the truck. “How the fuck did you know how to do that?”

  Kendis grinned. “Guess I learned a lot hanging with my uncle Elroy in his car repair shop.”

  Jon shook his head. “No sir. You don’t just pick that shit up. That is a God-given talent, boy.”

  “Not a boy,” Kendis gritted out.

  Jon stilled. “Hey. Don’t take that the way it sounded. Hell, even Del gets called boy sometimes. He don’t take it too well either, but hey…” He placed his hand on Kendis’s shoulder. “I didn’t mean anythin’ by it,” he said softly. “In fact, take it as a compliment.” His eyes shone. “I like you, okay? I would hate for you to be offended by something that came out of my stupid mouth.”

  It was the wrong thing to say, because just like that, Kendis was noticing Jon’s lips for the second time. “I don’t think your mouth is stupid,” he said equally softly. “It’s actually a very nice mouth.” Then good sense got the better of him and he shut up fast. Why in the hell would I say that?

  Jon flushed. “Thanks. I don’t think I’ve ever had a compliment about my mouth before. Only ever had someone tell me to take my foot out of it.” They both chuckled at that.

  “Did I hear that engine?” Del shouted across the lot.

  Jon grabbed Kendis’s arm and tugged him toward the building. “You sure as hell did. He only fucking fixed it!”

  Del’s smile was huge. “Now that is impressive.” He stood aside for them as they came back into the shop. “Why don’t I make us some coffee, and while we drink that, and eat whatever Jon has brought us, we can have a talk about your job prospects.” He glanced at Jon. “You can join us. You might have some ideas too.”

  Kendis really liked the sound of that.

  Jon watched as Kendis walked away from the bike shop. “I hope you can help him,” he said quietly. He didn’t like the way Kendis’s shoulders were all hunched over, like he was carrying a huge weight on them. There’s gotta be something Del can do.

  “Maybe we can help him?” Del said as he joined him. Jon kept silent on that one. He knew who had the business brains in their family, and it sure wasn’t Jon.

  As if Del was gonna take any notice of silence. “You were awful quiet just now. You hardly said a word.”

  Jon shrugged. “Look, we both know you’re the one with the connections. Plus, you’re a better judge of character than I am. You’ll know who to steer him to, and who to avoid.” There was little Jon could do to help Kendis, much as he wished to.

  There was a pause, and then Del let out a heavy sigh. “Why do you always do that?”

  “Do what?”

  “Put yourself down like that. You do it a lot.”

  Jon turned to face him. “Let’s be honest here. You’re better at business than I am. You only have to look at—”

  “Don’t bring up your past failures again, okay?” Del’s voice rose slightly. “Because that’s exactly where they belong—in the past. You came up with the idea for this business. You saw the potential. So don’t give me that, all right?” Del looked him in the eye. “And your ideas are just as valid as mine,” he added, his voice softening.

  There was one idea that was niggling away at him, had been ever since Kendis has gotten the truck going. “Do you suppose….” He clammed up.

  Del nudged him with his elbow. “Don’t stop, finish your sentence.”

  Fuck it. “I was just thinkin’… there’s gotta be another repair shop in LaFollette that needs a trainee. One that would take Kendis on.” During the conversation over coffee, Kendis had remarked that he’d approached three such places and gotten nowhere. There had to be at least five car repair places that Jon knew of around the town and a little further afield. They can’t all be owned by bigoted assholes, right?

  “Possibly.”

  Jon nodded. “Then let’s find one. He’s a natural. If you’d only seen how easy he made it look, fixing that cable.” He sighed. “Surely someone’ll train him.”

  “He might be a little old for some places. They like to train ’em young, say, sixteen.”

  Del was right, of course, but Jon didn’t want to think negatively. “Okay, then we find a place where he can work, and then we find a college or training school that’ll teach him what he needs. Hell, if a dumbass like me can see how talented he is, surely a school can. All they have to do is let him loose near an engine an’ watch him go.”

  Del regarded him closely. “He’s made quite an impression on you, hasn’t he?”

  Jon wasn’t sure why, but Del’s scrutiny made him twitchy and set off butterflies in his stomach. “He’s a good kid.” Shit. “Except he’s not a kid, is he? He’s twenty.”

  Del patted his arm. “Let’s see what we can do, okay?” He smiled. “Kendis is damn lucky to have you in his corner. And you’re right—he is a good man.” As he walked back to the office, Jon caught the words, “And for the record, I don’t have a dumbass for a brother. You’re a good man too.” The office door closed with a quiet snick.

  Jon’s throat tightened. Then he smiled to himself. He has to say that. He’s my brother. What was uppermost in his mind was how Kendis’s face would look the moment he learned he’d finally gotten a job. Jon could almost see the light in his eyes.

  Dammit. Jon wanted to be the one to put it there. I’m gonna find him that job. See if I don’t.

  He was now a man on a mission.

  Chapter Seven

  Friday Dec 15

  Jon poured himself a mug of coffee, then peered into Chaz’s mug. “You want the last bit?”

  Chaz grinned. “Like you have to ask.” He smeared butter onto his English muffin, then heaped jelly onto it.

  It had been just over three days since he and Kendis had gone for coffee, and so far he hadn’t said a word to Jon about it. Jon figured he’d get around to it, but curiosity was eating him up.

  “So how was coffee with Kendis?”

  Chaz chuckled. “That makes it sound like one of those god-awful chat shows. And it was good. Thanks for askin’.”

  “You guys gonna do it again?” Jon watched him closely. “You do like him right?”

  His question was met with a loud snort. “Who are you—my mom? Except she wouldn’t be caught dead asking if I liked a guy.” Chaz’s eyes gleamed. “Doin’ a little matchmakin’, Jon?” His lips twitched.

  “Well, he is gay, isn’t he?” That was the impression Jon had gotten after seeing their interactions. “I mean, it’s not as if anyone’s come right out and said it.”

  Chaz squinted at him, his eyebrows raised. “Come right out… was that deliberate?” He chuckled again. “Yeah, he’s gay.”

  Jon stilled. “Is Kendis out?”

  Chaz nodded. “His momma knows. I get the idea she’s not gonna be waving rainbow flags or an
ything like that, but she does know. His brother sounds like he’s more supportive.” His eyes sparkled. “And as for your question… yeah, I’d like to do it again. In fact, I was figurin’ on doing a little Christmas shopping tomorrow. I had the idea of asking Kendis along.”

  Jon speared him with a look. “You’d better not be buying anything for me or Del.”

  Chaz stared at him. “Aw, but—”

  “But nothin’. You don’t have to buy presents for us, you got that? Save your money.” A thought occurred to him. “Were you thinking about buying presents for your parents?”

  Chaz huffed. “I ain’t buying a goddamn thing for that… for my dad. I haven’t decided about my mom.”

  Privately, Jon thought she was just as bad. Hell, she’d said nothing when her husband had kicked Chaz to the curb. And what sort of woman stands by while her husband beats the crap outta their kid? Then he corrected himself. Despite his age, Chaz was no kid. He was more mature than Jon had been at the same age.

  Jon had to admit, Chaz and Kendis were pretty well-matched.

  “I think you should ask Kendis to go shopping,” he said decisively. “He could use a little distraction.”

  Chaz stared at him for a moment, then got up from his chair, walked around the table to where Jon sat, and bent down to give him a hug. Jon was too surprised to speak for a few seconds. Chaz’s arms were around him, and damn, that felt…

  Jon pushed down hard on the rush of conflicting emotions that surged up from somewhere deep inside him, and patted Chaz a little awkwardly on the back. When Chaz retook his seat, Jon gave him a quizzical glance. “What was that for? Not that I’m complainin’, y’understand. I don’t get that many hugs.”

  And the ones he did get never made him feel the way Chaz had made him feel just then. It had left him…

  Awkward? Anxious? Agitated?

  Hell, if he was going with all the A words, he might just as well go for the one he was trying his best to avoid.

  Aroused.

  “That was for being you.” Chaz’s brown eyes were warm. “You’re always thinkin’ ’bout others.” Jon waved a hand dismissively, and Chaz stilled. “And don’t you go doin’ that. I’m payin’ you a compliment, and it comes from the heart. Just accept it, okay?”

  “Okay.” Jon felt suitably chastened. He quickly changed the subject. “What are your plans for today?”

  Chaz grinned. “Del got it into his head that he wants all the bikes cleaned and oiled before we close up for the holidays. That task falls to yours truly. Then we’re gonna work on designing new advertising.” He frowned. “How come you’re not in on that?”

  “I leave that side to Del. He’s got more of a flair for that kind of thing.” Jon smiled. “Besides, I have to have a day off sometime.” And he had definite plans for his day. Plans he hoped would succeed.

  Chaz demolished his last piece of muffin, and swallowed what was left of his coffee. “I’ll do the laundry this weekend, seeing as you did the grocery shopping.”

  Jon nodded absently, before Chaz’s words sank in. “Hey. You might wanna check your laundry. I’m missing a jock. I put it in the hamper but I can’t seem to find it.”

  “Sure, I’ll check.” Chaz got up hurriedly and left the room.

  Jon stared after him. “Hey, I didn’t mean right this second!” When all he got back was silence, he called out in a voice heavy with sarcasm, “Sure, I’ll clear the table, no problem. It’s not like I’ve got anything better to do.”

  “You might not have, but your brother’ll tan my hide if I’m late,” Chaz shouted back.

  Yeah, he had a point. Del hated tardiness.

  Fifteen minutes later, Chaz was out of the house, onto his motorcycle, and headed for Rainbow Racers. And for the first time that morning since Chaz had hugged him, Jon breathed a little easier.

  Why did he have to hug me like that?

  Except the hug wasn’t the issue, and Jon knew it. Hell, Chaz had hugged him the day he and Del had brought all his stuff from his parent’s place. No, what lay at the heart of Jon’s unease was the way it made him feel. Because he did not want to feel that way about Chaz. He didn’t want to be aware of Chaz in that way. That was all kinds of wrong.

  He’s eighteen years old, for Christ’s sakes. It don’t matter how fucking mature he is—a guy my age, thinking about—

  Nope. Nope. Nope. Not going there.

  Hell to the motherfuckin’ no.

  Now, Chaz and Kendis together? That fucking worked. They were similar ages, they were both good looking guys…

  They were both out.

  I could never be that brave. A fact he knew to be true, from a personal experience that he was hardly likely to revisit.

  Lord, I envy them. And wasn’t that the truth? Just like he envied Del and Taylor. Fuck, Taylor had just come out to his police chief, so Del had said the previous evening. How fucking awesome is that?

  The memory of that phone conversation stirred up a hornets’ nest of emotions. It had become apparent something was going on at the other end of that call. Del had gotten a little breathless at one point, and Jon had the idea that was down to Taylor. Yeah, down was probably the most apt word in the circumstances. Toward the end, Del had let out a tortured cry of “Jesus! Gotta go,” before disconnecting.

  It didn’t take a genius to work out what was going on, and in that moment, Jon wanted to be in Del’s shoes. Or Taylor’s. It didn’t fucking matter. Not that he wanted to be either of them—he just yearned to know how it goddamn felt to suck on a guy’s dick, or have a warm, wet mouth on his cock.

  I had the chance, and I blew it. Wrong choice of words, but as if Jon gave a fuck. He only knew the offer had been there, and he’d gotten cold feet.

  Except there was more to it than that, and he knew it.

  A loud purring claimed Jon’s attention, and he glanced down to see Delilah rubbing against his ankle. “Can I do somethin’ for ya?” he said in amusement.

  Seconds later, Delilah had gotten up onto the table, and was eyeing the gap between the edge and Jon’s chest. He knew what that meant. “Come on then.” He slumped a little in his chair, and Delilah stepped delicately onto his folded arms, then up onto his chest, before pushing her head forcefully against his bearded chin.

  “God, you weigh a ton, girl.” He had to smile when she rubbed her face against his. “That what you wanted? Doin’ a little scent-markin’?” He stroked her back, making sure to scritch at the base of her tail, which rose up in response. “Oh, you like that, huh?” As if he didn’t know. Delilah was purring up a storm by this point.

  Jon cradled her head and looked her in the eye. “Only woman I could ever have around me.” Except that wasn’t the whole truth. He’d known a few women who were fine—he just didn’t want to date ’em.

  Did Momma guess? Jon was almost sure she had, not that she’d ever said a word. She hadn’t asked once why he’d never had any girlfriends, and Jon put that down to one thing—she’d figured not asking was the safest bet. Would she have minded? That, he would never know. She’d been okay about Del when he’d come out after finishing college, but then, Del had been so forthright about it, so secure in his own skin, that it was difficult to imagine her reacting any other way.

  Jon could still recall his own reaction to Del’s announcement. He’d been fourteen, and in awe of his big brother. Del had taken him aside and asked if he’d understood what Del had meant. Of course Jon had understood. Puberty had brought with it his own realization that his interests were definitely not in girls.

  Nothing could have dragged that from Jon’s lips, however. He wasn’t Del. Hell, even at that age, Jon had known he was nothing like Del. Nothing like Chaz, or Kendis.

  Then he reconsidered. When he’d first met Chaz, the younger man hadn’t been as relaxed and confident as he was now. What had changed? The only thing Jon could point to was that since he’d moved in, Chaz had come out.

  Does that confidence and self-assurance come from final
ly being free to be himself? Because Lord, Jon surely envied him that.

  All this reflection and introspection wasn’t accomplishing anything. Jon was on a mission, and he wanted a positive result by the end of it. If he succeeded, Kendis’s life would look very different. Jon’s end goal was still the same.

  I want to be the one to put a smile on his face.

  Eric Temple rubbed his chin. “I’m not sure how I can help you, Mr. Walters.”

  “Jon. Call me Jon. And all I want is for you to give this guy a chance. Just meet him an’ see what you think.” Jon glanced at the interior of the automobile repair shop. There were two men in coveralls, working on the engine of a Corvette that had seen better days. He could picture Kendis working here. Eric seemed like an okay guy, although Jon didn’t possess Del’s ability to spot an asshole at fifty yards. He was maybe in his fifties, with blue eyes that seemed kind. Jon liked the way he spoke to his employees, and they clearly got along well with their boss.

  Jon had had the idea in the middle of Thursday night to visit Eric’s business, after spending most of the day researching all the automotive repair shops in LaFollette. Christ, there were a lot of them, but Eric’s came highly recommended. Folks liked how they worked, and reviews said they were fair.

  That was enough for Jon to make a decision. He was going to visit the repair shop and speak to the owner about Kendis. All he had to do was get Eric interested enough to want to see him.

  Jon almost jumped out of his skin when one of the guys dropped a wrench, which landed with a loud clatter onto the concrete floor.

  “Let’s go someplace quieter and talk.” Eric beckoned him with a finger and led Jon into a small office. He closed the door behind them, then sat in one of the two chairs. Jon took the other. Eric leaned forward, his elbows balanced on his knees, hands clasped together. “Okay. That trick with the paper clip was very impressive, I grant you, but I need to know more. Sure, you don’t need a license to work in a shop like this in Tennessee, but there are certain things we look for before we take a guy on.”