Personal Challenges Read online

  “Yes, tesoro. On this matter, you know best.” Her eyes sparkled. “This matter.”

  Angelo laughed. “Meaning that where everything else is concerned, Mama knows best?”

  “Of course!”

  Angelo pulled her to her feet, encircled her with his arms and hugged her tightly.

  Rick shook his head. Mothers.

  * * * * * *

  “Hey, it’s good to hear you.” It had been some time since they’d spoken, but Angelo remembered that voice.

  “Maria told me I should give you a call.”

  Angelo smiled to himself. “She didn’t waste any time.” Across the room, Rick looked up from his laptop and gave him an inquiring glance. Franco, Angelo mouthed. Rick gave a single nod and went back to his e-mails.

  “If what she tells me is correct, you don’t have time to waste. So, you’d like me to perform the ceremony? Well, perform a blessing, at any rate.”

  Angelo liked Franco’s no nonsense approach. “Yes, if you can fit us in.”

  “I don’t know if Maria told you, but my circumstances have changed recently. I no longer have my own parish.”

  “Yes, she said something about you being a prison chaplain? Bit of a change there.”

  There was a brief pause. “Let’s just say a lot of things came to a head, and I decided a move was required. I’ve been working with the prison service for the last six months.”

  “Which prison do you work in?” Angelo thought it odd that Franco hadn’t mentioned it in his last Christmas card.

  “Belmarsh.”

  “Wow.” Angelo was familiar with the type of prisoners that resided within the walls of Belmarsh. “That sounds like it might be a tough job at times.”

  “Sometimes, yes. But we can talk more about this when we meet. I presume that’s what you’d like? A meeting to discuss the wedding? Seeing as time is a factor.”

  No beating about the bush with Franco. It made a refreshing change. “That would be good. When can you fit us in?”

  “Evenings work best for me. I could be there tomorrow evening, if that’s convenient? The sooner, the better, really.”

  “Perfect.” Angelo felt better already. Finally we’re making steps.

  “There’s one thing I should say at this point. Maria said you don’t have a venue booked yet.”

  “This is true.” That was the next headache to overcome.

  “I might be able to help you there. Leave it with me. I’ll let you know tomorrow if I’ve been successful.”

  “Oh wow, that would be fantastic.” Angelo didn’t believe their luck.

  Franco chuckled. “No promises, mind. Just pray everything comes together, all right?”

  Angelo could do that. “We’ll see you tomorrow then. Do you want to come for dinner?”

  “Sorry, I have plans. Thanks for the invitation, though. I should be there by eight-thirty if that’s okay.” Angelo assured him it was fine and they finished the call.

  “That sounded very positive,” Rick said with a smile.

  Angelo put his phone on the coffee table and held his arm wide. “What are you doing all the way over there?”

  Rick chuckled and closed the lid of his laptop. He put it aside and got up from his armchair to sit beside Angelo on the couch. Angelo put his arm around him and drew him close.

  “You’re right, it was very positive. Franco’s coming here tomorrow evening at eight-thirty. And get this—he says he might be able to help with the venue for the ceremony.”

  “Aw, great!”

  Angelo laughed. “Let’s wait and see what he comes up with before we say that, okay?” He loved sitting like this, the two of them with their arms around each other. It was a feeling that never grew old.

  Rick craned his head to look up at him. “Apart from knowing we get a card from him every Christmas, I don’t know much about Franco, except that he’s your friend.”

  Angelo sighed and snuggled Rick against him. “He’s the reason I turned up at Trinity that day, armed with a sonic screwdriver.” He chuckled as he recalled Ed, fists clenched, fiercely protective of Rick. Thank God for Blake’s calm manner. If it hadn’t been for him, Angelo wouldn’t have got past Karen’s desk at reception.

  Rick’s eyes widened. “Franco was? You never told me that.”

  Angelo nodded. “He told me I had two choices—obey my father and probably be miserable for the rest of my life, or decide for myself who I was going to gift my heart to.”

  “Wow. And he’s a Catholic priest? Since when does the Catholic church condone homosexuality?” Rick narrowed his gaze. “Ah, I get it. He’s gay.”

  “That, he would neither confirm nor deny. He said it didn’t matter because he’d taken vows to lead a life of celibacy.”

  Rick snorted. “As did all the gay priests we read about in the media.”

  Angelo cupped Rick’s chin. “What I’m telling you is, Franco is a good man. He’s the reason we’re together right now. He made me see sense. So regardless of your feelings about organized religion—and I am more than aware of them after all this time—this is someone who deserves our attention.”

  Rick laid his head against Angelo’s shoulder. “I never said anything, but when your mum decided she was going to arrange the wedding, I… wasn’t happy.”

  Angelo froze. “What?”

  Rick sighed. “I knew she’d want a big church wedding, and the thought made me uncomfortable. I just figured we’d end up getting married in a Unitarian church or some other denomination that doesn’t think all gays are going straight to hell. You know I’m no fan of churches, but equally I know it’s how you were brought up. It was important to you, so… I said nothing.”

  Angelo was stunned. There was a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach. “And you would have gone through with it, wouldn’t you, despite it not being what you wanted?”

  Rick nodded. “If it made you happy, then yes.”

  Angelo grabbed hold of him and tugged him into his lap, Rick straddling him. “Don’t ever do that again.” He locked gazes with Rick, his heart pounding. “I mean it, Rick. This is our wedding. Ours. Don’t keep your feelings from me. That’s no basis for married life.”

  Rick swallowed. “I promise, from now on, I’ll share everything.”

  Angelo stared at him, his heart aching with love for the man who was his whole world. He cupped the back of Rick’s head and slowly drew him closer into a kiss. It was soft, tender and full of love.

  It didn’t stay that way, of course.

  Hands roamed, stroked and caressed. Lips and tongues got in on the act. And when Rick climbed off his knee in silence and stood before him, hand outstretched to lead him to their bed, Angelo was more than happy to go along.

  Chapter Six

  “Colin, do you have a minute?”

  Colin glanced up in surprise at the sound of Simon Wilson’s voice. It was rare for the senior partner to turn up unannounced, and yet there he was, standing at the door to Colin’s office.

  Something’s up.

  “Sure. Your office?”

  To his even greater surprise, Simon came into the room and closed the door behind him.

  Oh, this is not good.

  He waited until Simon had seated himself in the chair facing his desk. “I was about to pour myself a coffee. Would you like one? Or tea, perhaps?”

  Simon smiled. “Thank you, but no. And I’m not staying long. I just wanted a quick word, that was all.”

  Colin had always thought of himself as a positive thinker, but to his dismay his heart was hammering and the only thought in his head was what have I done?

  Simon leaned forward, his clasped hands on the desk. “I’ll come straight to the point. We’re very pleased with the work you’ve done since you started with us at Wilson & Beckett. You’re punctual, efficient, and you consistently produce excellent results.”

  Oh my. Colin was lost for words. He swallowed and reached out to straighten his pen on the desk.

  Simon
chuckled. “I think that’s the first occasion where you’ve been speechless.” He tilted his head to one side and gave Colin a keen glance. “Let me guess. You were racking your brains, trying to work out where you’d screwed up.”

  “Something like that,” Colin admitted.

  Simon laughed. “God, no. Although I have had a couple of conversations like that so far this morning. It makes a nice change to have something positive to say.” He sat up, hands resting on his knee. “The main point of this conversation is to ask if you feel up to heading the CAD department.” He regarded Colin steadily.

  Colin blinked. “But… I mean… that’s Emily Parson’s job.”

  Simon nodded. “Emily will be leaving us. I’m telling you this in confidence, mind. She’s decided she needs to be nearer to her daughter in the West Midlands. I’m not going to go further into the reasons for the move. Needless to say, when we thought about who would replace her, you were first on our list.”

  “You… didn’t want to advertise the position?” When Simon quirked his eyebrows, Colin hastened to elaborate. “Not that I’m not flattered, you understand. I’m just… surprised.”

  “I understand. And no, if we’re going to recruit, it will be designers just starting out, people we can train to work with us. We want someone at the helm that we can trust, in whose work we have absolute faith.” He smiled. “You fit the bill perfectly. So… do we go ahead and announce your promotion?”

  Colin grinned. “As if I could turn down such an offer. Yes, and thank you for the trust you’re placing in me.”

  “Thank you,” Simon said, rising to his feet and extending his hand to Colin. “Your work helped us win the RIBA award, after all. It’s only fair that we recognize your contribution.” They shook hands. “There will be an e-mail later today, informing the staff. Congratulations, Colin.” Simon walked towards the door.

  Colin had a feeling his face was going to ache from smiling by the end of the day. “Thank you,” he said when Simon paused at the threshold. Once the door had closed, he sank into his chair, warmth spreading through him.

  Wait until I tell Ed.

  He knew better than to call him at work. It had been different when they’d first got together—they’d managed to indulge in phone sex on more than one occasion—but not now that Ed was the CEO. Besides, Ed tended to worry if Colin called him at the office.

  It can wait until tonight. Colin planned to call in at the local supermarket on the way home to buy a bottle of champagne, because this was certainly a situation that called for it.

  The office was about an hour from closing when the e-mail finally came through. The fluttery feeling in his belly was back again as he saw his name on the screen. Somehow that made it all the more real. His phone pinged as he read it, announcing the arrival of an e-mail to his personal account, and still smiling, he opened up the folder—and stopped at the sight of Ray’s name.

  It had been three weeks since Ray had called, and Colin had assumed whatever he’d wanted to share couldn’t have been all that important. He opened the e-mail entitled News and began reading.

  Cold spread out from somewhere deep inside him, and his hands grew clammy. Oh my God. He stared at the screen, as if that would somehow change the words that seemed to move on the virtual page. Shaking his head, his fingers gripping the phone, he re-read the long message, hoping to God he’d got it all wrong.

  Except he knew, somehow, that it was all too real.

  Colin,

  I’m sorry I hung up on you so abruptly during our phone conversation. To be honest, I’d thought I could do this over the phone, but when it came down to it, I lost my nerve. Phone calls are so immediate, aren’t they? You say the words and they’re out there, and you can’t take them back, rephrase them… Far easier to draft and redraft an e-mail.

  Only then, the hard thing is hitting Send.

  Okay, I’ll be brief. I’ve been HIV+ for a number of years now, and unfortunately time seems to have run out for me. I now have AIDS and I’m in the end stage, or pretty close to it.

  Why am I telling you this?

  Maybe because it still feels like you and I ended too soon. Whatever the reason, you were one of the most important people in my life. Maybe that’s why I’ve stayed in touch all these years. I didn’t want to lose you.

  I don’t know how much longer I have left. I don’t want your pity, by the way. There is no one to blame here but me. I made some bad decisions in my youth, and now I’m paying for them, so yes, the responsibility is all mine.

  I suppose in some way I feel that I wronged you. Whether you agree with that or not, I’m asking you to forgive me for leaving the way I did. I was never one for goodbyes.

  Thank you for the years we shared. You were wonderful. I will always be honoured that I was the one who got to show you how great it can be to love another man. Only time in my life when I was someone’s first, and believe me, you left some pretty big shoes to be filled.

  Love you, Colin.

  Ray.

  It didn’t get any better the second time of reading. Or the third. Or even the fourth.

  With a start, Colin realized that the office had grown quieter. He glanced at the clock on his desk and knew why—an hour had passed and it was time to go home. Slowly he stood, automatically switched off his monitor and the lamp on his desk, and then removed his jacket from the back of his chair.

  All he felt was numb.

  * * * * * *

  Ed would be the first to admit he wasn’t the most patient of men, but he tried his hardest when it came to Colin. It always astounded him how much he’d changed in the four years since Colin entered his life. Apart from the obvious fact that he’d changed lanes, of course.

  Ed liked to think Colin brought out the best in him. He loved how Colin always saw the positive side to everything, which was usually right after Ed had blurted out something negative.

  We fit, don’t we? Opposites attract, an’ all that.

  Which was why he’d said nothing when Colin had walked in the front door, clearly subdued. He figured it was easiest to wait until Colin was ready to share about his obviously crap day.

  But when Colin had showered, helped cook the dinner and dish it out, all the while saying very little, Ed figured his lover needed a gentle push in the right direction.

  Except Ed was never one for using a feather when a sledgehammer would get the job done far quicker.

  He paused halfway through their meal and cleared his throat. “So what ’appened at work today to piss you off?”

  Colin snapped his head up, his brow furrowed. “Nothing. Why?”

  Ed snorted. “Why? You’ve barely ’ad two words to rub together since you got ’ome.”

  Colin put down his fork. “Actually, something did happen today, but it was a good thing. I got promoted.” He smiled.

  Ed would have believed he had it all wrong, except Colin’s smile didn’t make it as far as his eyes.

  What—wait—what was that last part?

  Ed put down his knife and fork. “You mean to tell me, you’ve been in the ’ouse for two hours, an’ you’re only tellin’ me this now?” He tried to ignore the flare of pain in his chest and the fact that his stomach was suddenly rock hard. Something is really wrong.

  Colin’s face tightened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t phone you at the office because I know you have a lot on your plate during the day. And I was going to buy some champagne because I was over the moon about it. But then, something else happened that put a damper on my elation, and I guess I found it hard to shake off my mood.”

  The knot of tension in Ed’s belly writhed like a tangled mass of snakes.

  “Okay. I’ll come back to your mood in a sec. What was the promotion?”

  “You’re looking at the new head of the CAD department.”

  Ed nodded. “Sweet. Now tell me what was so bad that you’re not celebratin’. Because to my mind, you should’ve come through that door singin’ an’ dancin’.”

>   Colin pushed his half-eaten meal away from him. “I received an e-mail, that’s all.”

  “That ’ad to be some e-mail, to take your mind off a whoppin’ great promotion.” Something fired in his brain. Someone asking for Colin’s e-mail address. Ed opened his eyes wide. “Ray sent it, didn’t he?”

  The way Colin stiffened was all the answer Ed needed. Words were superfluous.

  “Yet another thing you ’aven’t mentioned. Why is that?”

  Colin stared at the remains of his dinner. “I was going to tell you when I’d figured out how I felt about it. I’m still processing.”

  “Was it bad?”

  Colin winced. “Not for me.”

  Ed huffed. “Aren’t ya gonna tell me what he wrote?”

  Slowly Colin raised his head. “It doesn’t matter.” His voice was a monotone.

  Ed was doing his level best to remain calm. “’Ow can you say it doesn’t matter? If it affects you, it affects me.”

  Colin lifted his eyebrows. “Look, I know you’re concerned, but please, don’t leap in with both feet. Me sharing what Ray sent me is only going to make things worse. And besides, I’m right. It doesn’t affect you. He’s part of my past.”

  A cold wave rolled over Ed. “So what? Your past matters to me.” They’d had disagreements in the past, but Colin had never spoken in such a lifeless, hopeless tone. Just hearing it sent shivers down Ed’s spine.

  Colin gave a weary sigh. “Ed, telling you what he shared with me wouldn’t make it any more palatable, believe me. But I promise, when I’ve gotten my head around all this, I’ll tell you everything. It’s not a secret, it’s just… a little overwhelming.”

  Something in his voice sank in, and Ed finally got it. Colin was hurting, and knowing that made his heart ache.

  “Fine,” he said. “I’ll leave it alone then. But I’m ’ere if you need me, okay?”