Desire & Denial (Southern Boys Book 3) Page 8

  Chaz pointed to the very large teddy bear with chocolate-colored fur, and a cream muzzle and paws. A light brown satin ribbon was tied in a bow around its neck.

  Kendis smirked. “Who would you buy that for?”

  Chaz grinned. “Jon.”

  “Seriously?” Kendis cackled. “It’s almost as big as you. What in the world would he do with it?”

  Chaz had no clue why the idea of buying the bear appealed to him. He just got the feeling that it would tickle Jon. “I’m buyin’ it.” He went into the store before he had a chance to change his mind. Kendis waited outside for him, smirking when Chaz came out of the store, struggling to keep the bear under his arm in its clear plastic bag.

  Kendis shook his head. “I’m not sure I wanna be seen walkin’ through the mall while you’re carrying that.”

  Chaz snorted. “Well, it’s not like it’s for you, is it?” Lord, but it was huge.

  By midday, Chaz’s belly was growling. Kendis bit back a smile. “Time to feed you and the bear, by the sound of it.”

  “Okay, maybe it is time to eat. You got someplace in mind?” They’d passed by lots of eating places already. “There’s Chinese, Thai, burgers…”

  “There’s always the Cheesecake Factory,” Kendis said quickly. “We passed it as we came into the mall.” When Chaz stared at him, he widened his eyes. “What? So I like cheesecake.”

  “For lunch?”

  Kendis laughed. “Why? You got a problem with that?”

  Now that he came to mention it… “None whatsoever.”

  They headed back the way they came, out of the mall and to the right. Kendis pushed open the door. “They do have food that isn’t cheesecake, y’know.”

  Chaz pouted. “Aw, don’t spoil it now.” They waited at the hostess’s station while she spoke with a couple.

  She greeted them with a smile, and Chaz got the feeling that was because of the bear under his arm. “Table for two?” When Chaz nodded, she signaled to a waitress, who asked them to follow her. The restaurant looked pretty full, but she’d clearly seen an empty booth toward the rear.

  As they wove through the space, Chaz caught sight of a familiar face. He grinned, and touched the waitress lightly on the arm. “Excuse me, ma’am, but would it be okay if we joined our friend over there?” He pointed to the booth where Ellie was the only occupant.

  “That’ll be fine.” She handed Chaz the menus. “I’ll be over with your water in a minute.”

  Kendis leaned in as they approached the booth. “Who are we joining?”

  “It’ll be fine,” Chaz said quietly. As they got nearer, Ellie glanced up and beamed at him.

  “Hey you.” Her gaze flickered toward Kendis, her eyes widening slightly. Then she saw the bear and grinned. “Who’s your furry friend? Does he need a seat too?”

  Chaz ignored her and turned to Kendis. “This is Ellie. We were in the same class through most of high school.”

  “Don’t forget middle school,” Ellie reminded him. She got to her feet, her hand extended. “And you must be Kendis.”

  Kendis blinked. “Yeah. Hi.” He glanced at Chaz with a quizzical look. Chaz simply nodded, and Kendis shook her hand. Ellie retook her seat, and they slid across the booth’s padded seat, facing her.

  Chaz leaned in toward him and said quietly, “Ellie’s one of the more enlightened people you’ll meet in LaFollette.”

  Kendis seemed to have recovered. He chuckled. “I didn’t think you’d be friends with someone if they were an asshole.”

  Ellie snorted. “Okay, I like you.” They both laughed. She held out her hands. “Here. I’ll put the grizzly next to me. He’d better have good table manners, is all I’m saying.”

  Chaz handed it over, then grabbed one of the menus and thrust it at Kendis. “Here. Choose something before I die of starvation.”

  Kendis chuckled before opening the menu and perusing the contents.

  Chaz left him to it and turned his attention to Ellie. “You didn’t tell me you’d be in Knoxville this weekend,” he remarked.

  Ellie smirked. “You’re not my boyfriend. I don’t have to tell you diddly squat.” Her eyes gleamed. “Wait a minute, I don’t have a boyfriend, do I? Guess that means I get to do whatever the hell I want.” That beaming smile was back.

  Kendis didn’t take long deciding, thank the Lord. When the waitress arrived with their waters, Chaz reeled off their order. He thanked the waitress and returned his attention to Kendis and Ellie, who were busy talking, both of them looking relaxed. Chaz was happy about that. He loved Ellie like a sister, and as for Kendis…

  Nope. Don’t go there. Way too soon for that.

  Kendis drank half of his water almost instantly. Ellie hadn’t taken her eyes off him, and Chaz had the sneaking suspicion he was in for it.

  “So,” she said with a sweet smile, “are you two dating?”

  She nearly ended up wearing Kendis’s latest mouthful. “Say what?” he croaked. He cleared his throat. “We only just met. As in, a week ago.”

  Ellie arched her eyebrows. “So what? I met this guy at a party once. He asked me out the following weekend. And we dated for a month.”

  Chaz blinked. “Wait. Who was this? And when did this happen? You keepin’ shit from me?”

  She rolled her eyes. “I don’t have to tell you everything, now do I? And his name don’t matter. He couldn’t keep up with me in bed, is all you need to know.”

  Okay, this time Kendis was in real danger of choking.

  Chaz patted him on the back and pointed to his glass. “Sip it. Slowly.” He glared at Ellie. “You are evil.”

  She gave him a happy smile. “Yup.” Then she cackled. “I’m just kidding. He wanted to get into my pants our first date. I made him wait till the third.” She sighed dramatically. “Apparently, I’m a tease.”

  Kendis wiped his lips. “I’ll bet you worry your parents to death.”

  Ellie laughed. “You got that right.”

  The food arrived, and Chaz dug into his chicken samosas, while Kendis went to work on his loaded baked potato tots. Ellie had already eaten. Before they’d finished, she excused herself and went to the restroom.

  Kendis toyed with his fork. “Something Ellie said kinda struck me.” He looked in Chaz’s eyes. “I don’t think making him wait till the third date was teasing. And if he didn’t wanna wait, that says more about him than it does about Ellie.”

  Chaz shrugged. “I’ve never been on a date, so I wouldn’t know.” He had his own ideas about it, sure. Chaz didn’t think he’d be in that much of a hurry to get into a guy’s jeans.

  Some things were worth waiting for. What was interesting was that Kendis seemed to feel the same way.

  Kendis stared at him. “So… this isn’t a date, then?” His lips twitched.

  Yeah, Chaz really liked Kendis. “There you go, flirtin’ again.” They both laughed at that. Chaz cocked his head to one side. “Do you want it to be?” His heartbeat sped up a little.

  Lord, Kendis had beautiful eyes…

  “Maybe?” Kendis said softly. Then he shifted on his seat, putting a little more distance between them as Ellie returned to the table.

  “So what do you boys have planned for the rest of the day?”

  “We did think about going to a movie,” Chaz told her. “Only, I haven’t looked to see what’s playing.”

  Ellie’s eyes lit up. “They’re showing The Shape of Water next door. I’ve been dyin’ to see that.”

  Kendis got out his phone and tapped on the screen. He scrolled down a page before raising his head to stare at Chaz. “That looks awesome!”

  Chaz didn’t need to know anymore. “Then that’s our movie.”

  “You don’t mind if I tag along, do ya?” Ellie gave him an imploring look. “I mean, it’s not like you’re on a date, right?”

  Except that was exactly how it was starting to feel.

  “Course we don’t mind,” Chaz told her generously. He glanced at Kendis for confirmation,
and for a split second there, Chaz was certain he saw a flash of disappointment.

  Kendis gave her a reassuring smile. “Hey, you want to see this too, right?” He leaned across the table. “Besides, while Chaz goes to pick up coke and popcorn, you can dish the dirt. I wanna hear what he got up to in high school.”

  Ellie guffawed. “Trust me, honey, we don’t have that long.”

  Chaz was starting to get a bad feeling about this.

  As they went through the doors to the movie theater, Ellie chuckled. “Just don’t be surprised if they charge you for an extra seat. Smokey here takes up a lotta room.”

  It was only then that Chaz realized they still had to get the bear home on the bike. Not to mention sneak it into the house without Jon seeing it.

  Maybe this wasn’t such a hot idea after all.

  It was only as they were sitting that he realized he hadn’t found a present for Kendis. And he didn’t have a clue what to get him.

  I guess I’m gonna have to wait for inspiration to strike. As long as it didn’t wait until Christmas Eve.

  Chaz was glad he’d engineered it so he was in the middle, with Ellie on his left and Kendis on his right. At least that way, they couldn’t talk about him. Not that he was all that concerned: compared to Ellie, he’d been a saint in high school. The bear sat in its bag on the floor between his legs. It just about fit in the space. Thank God he could throw the bag away once he got home. Who knew what shit found its way onto that floor?

  As for the movie, Chaz was hooked from the start. There had been that one moment though, when the heroine had gotten into her bath, with an egg timer on the cabinet, and Chaz had wondered what the fuck was going on. Then Ellie’s stifled gasp broke the silence around them, and snickers and chuckles erupted from their fellow theatergoers. Suddenly he knew exactly what was happening on the big screen, even if they did blur the camera’s view.

  The hitch in Kendis’s breathing was delicious.

  Chaz glanced down at the bear, and he realized what had been at the back of his mind when he first laid eyes on it—a certain scene from a recent porn video, one that had made him laugh out loud when he saw it. Not that he could imagine Jon getting up to such shenanigans, but Lord, the idea....

  Chaz lost himself in the movie, and when Kendis gripped the arm of the seat during one particularly tense scene, Chaz instinctively covered Kendis’s hand with his. When Kendis didn’t withdraw, Chaz laced their fingers, glad of the darkness that covered them. Kendis’s soft exhalation told Chaz his instincts were spot on.

  For the rest of the movie, they held hands, one or the other of them giving a gentle squeeze now and then. It was a first Chaz had never imagined would be his. Granted, focusing on the movie after that was more difficult—his attention was drawn continually to Kendis. The sound of his breathing. The way he smelled, a mix of fresh clean cotton, soap, and something else Chaz couldn’t identify. Whatever it was, the scent invaded his nostrils and stirred something deep within him. It took him a moment to realize what it was.

  Desire. Need.

  For the second time in a week, Chaz was confronted with a longing that rose up from someplace inside him. Except he yearned for two very different men.

  That is so fucked up.

  Then he reconsidered. It didn’t matter how much he ached for Jon—Chaz was never going to get what he wanted. But Kendis was different. Kendis was interested in him. Kendis had flirted with him, for Christ’s sake. Kendis’s fingers were intertwined with his, and that wasn’t the action of a guy who wasn’t interested, now was it?

  Fucked up was going after a man he couldn’t have.

  How does that saying go? A bird in the hand…? He’d never really understood it before, but now he saw its meaning so clearly. He wanted both of them, but that was never going to happen. That was just plain greedy.

  Better to hold onto Kendis, who was right there, than risk losing him by going after something unattainable. For the umpteenth time, Chaz reminded himself that porn lied.

  Straight men don’t fall in love with gay guys.

  “You gonna sit there all day?”

  Chaz blinked. The lights had come up, and Ellie was looking at him in amusement. He glanced at his hand, but Kendis had removed his, and was gazing at him, his expression neutral.

  Chaz chuckled. “I guess I didn’t want it to end.”

  He wasn’t referring to the movie.

  After they’d left the theater and said goodbye, Ellie went to find her car, and he and Kendis walked slowly to where he’d left the motorcycle.

  “I had a great time today,” Kendis said quietly.

  “Yeah, me too.” The simple response belied how much the day had meant to him.

  “Ellie’s great too.”

  “Yeah, she is.” Is that all you can say? Christ, he sounded like a real dick. When they reached the bike, Chaz took a deep breath. “Look, about what you said…”

  “Which bit? Because I said a lot today.”

  Chaz rolled his eyes. “Just lemme finish.” When Kendis gazed at him with slightly widened eyes, Chaz took another breath. “You wanna go on a date? A real one, this time?” His pulse thudded in his neck. He could feel it throbbing there.

  Kendis’s breathing caught, and he became still. Finally he smiled. “I’d like that.”

  Thank the Lord for that. Relief washed over him in a slow tide.

  “But there is one thing I should make clear right now,” Kendis added quickly.

  “Oh yeah?” Chaz waited, his heart racing.

  Kendis’s smile widened. “I don’t put out on the first date. Or even the second.”

  Chaz couldn’t resist. “How about the third?”

  Kendis chuckled. “Why don’t we come back to that question after dates one and two?”

  Holy fuck. That was not a no.

  Chaz laughed. “I can live with that.” And if he wasn’t standing in a crowded parking lot, he’d be pulling Kendis in for Chaz’s first kiss.

  Their first kiss.

  That was a first that would have to wait.

  “Let’s get you home,” Chaz said with a smile. “We can talk about our first date another time.”

  Kendis nodded eagerly. “You can call me tonight, before I go to sleep. We can talk then.”

  Dear Lord. Chaz did not want to think about Kendis lying in his bed, possibly naked.

  Riding the bike with a boner? Hell no.

  Chaz cleared his throat. “Okay. I can do that.” After he’d made sure he’d closed his bedroom door. This was one conversation he did not want Jon overhearing.

  Just in case.

  Chapter Nine

  Kendis cocked his head toward the bedroom door. Not a sound. Momma had gone to bed an hour before him, and he hoped that meant she was sleeping soundly. Not that he was intending on being loud, but this was a first, and he had no clue what to expect.

  Well… that wasn’t quite true. He was hoping things might get a little… adventurous. Lord knew, he was more than ready for that kind of adventure.

  He got comfortable, then reached for his phone and scrolled through to Chaz’s number. It answered after a couple of rings. “Hey. We okay to talk?”

  Kendis caught the faint rustle of cotton against cotton. “Just lemme close the door.” He heard the soft snick, then the sound of sheets shifting again. “Okay. That’s better. I’m glad you had a good time today.”

  Kendis let out a happy sigh. “I had a great time.” He chuckled. “Where have you hidden the bear?” He couldn’t imagine it being an easy thing to hide, the size of it.

  “In my closet. Jon doesn’t go in there.” A pause. “I’m also glad you got to meet Ellie. I had no idea she’d be there today.”

  Kendis had gotten the impression Ellie was kind of important to Chaz. “She seems like she’s a good friend.”

  “The best. Of course, she rags on me all the time, but I know it’s all in fun.”

  “Really? What sort of things does she say?” Not that he was
all that surprised. Kendis got the feeling Ellie had a wicked tongue.

  “Oh, just stuff about how I don’t dress like a gay guy, how come I’m not a flamer, what’s my favorite musical theater show… I don’t mind her none, ’cause I know she’s not being serious.” Chaz cleared his throat. “But hey, I’m sure you didn’t call me so we could talk about Ellie. We’ve got a date to organize.”

  Kendis’s face grew warm. “My first.”

  “Seriously?”

  He chuckled. “That stuff about never putting out on a first or second date… You know I said I’d never ridden before? Well, I’ve really never ridden before.” Lord, he hoped he didn’t have to spell it out.

  “You’re a virgin.”

  Hallelujah. “That gonna be a problem?”

  Chaz let out a wry chuckle. “Not really. You ‘n’ me both.”

  Okay, Kendis was suddenly feeling a whole lot better.

  “Back in Louisiana, I always felt like I was missing out. There were guys in my class havin’ sex when they were fifteen. Course, they could’ve been lyin’…”

  Chaz laughed quietly. “Same here. Ellie makes this joke, that by the time I get someone to take my cherry, they won’t want it anyhow ’cause it’ll be too old ‘n’ rotten. Only reason I’ve survived this long is porn.”

  Now Kendis was on familiar ground. “I swear Momma is part ninja. I have to keep an eye and an ear out for her. If I wanna watch porn, I gotta wait till she’s asleep or out of the house.” He’d gotten used to snatching moments when he could.

  “Course, it’s a lot easier since I moved in with Jon. Still gotta keep it quiet though.”

  It wasn’t a conversation Kendis felt comfortable discussing face to face, so he was gonna make this one count. “Don’t you find porn is kinda… scary?”

  Silence for a moment. “Why scary?”

  “Well, they all look huge, if you get what I’m talkin’ about.”

  Chaz snorted. “Yeah, well, don’t believe everything you see on that screen.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Boners can be the result of takin’ stuff, or using… appliances to make your dong look bigger.”