Endings and Beginnings Read online

  Darren’s heartbeat raced. “Yes,” he breathed. “But I’d want to learn with you.” When JJ became still, Darren wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him close. “Nothing is set in stone, JJ. A month down the line you might change your mind, and that’s okay. We’re going to continue dating. I think we have a lot of chemistry.”

  “I agree,” JJ whispered, and Darren wanted to punch the air.

  “But me training, us doing scenes together? I think that will add another dimension to the relationship.” He fell silent. He’d been honest with JJ—he’d already learned the importance of that—but there was little he could say to add to his argument.

  It was up to JJ.

  As the moments passed and JJ said nothing, the tension in Darren’s belly increased.

  “Is it okay if I think about it?” JJ said at last.

  Darren expelled his fears in a shaky breath. “Of course. In fact….” He glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece. “Why don’t I give you some time on your own? I should really pop to the salon and make sure everything’s all right. It’s not that I don’t trust Christopher, but—”

  “But it is your business, your baby,” JJ said with a smile.

  Darren relaxed into a grin. “Exactly. I’ll only be gone a few hours.” He cupped JJ’s face and drew him into a kiss. When they parted, Darren locked gazes with him. “One last thing. This is important. Something in me reacted to something in you. I sense a need in you. I’m not sure if that need includes me, but I hope it does. I’d like it to.” He reached around and swatted JJ’s arse. “So climb off me and let me go see what a mess my staff has gotten into while I’m not there.”

  JJ got off his lap and stood. “Could I use your washing machine while you’re out? I could do with doing some laundry.”

  “No problem. The utility room is next to the back door. There’s detergent and fabric conditioner in there.” Darren fished his phone out of his jeans pocket. “I’ll let them know I’m coming in,” he said with a grin. “Might as well give them a chance to make sure everything’s perfect before I get there, right?”

  JJ snickered. “I thought you trusted them.”

  “I do,” Darren said, still smiling. “Which is why I’m sure I’ll get there and everything will be shipshape. It just doesn’t hurt to give them the opportunity to make sure.” With that, he left the room.

  JJ WAITED until he heard Darren moving around upstairs and then let out his breath in a long whoosh. The conversation had him tingling all over. He recalled Darren’s manner the previous day, how he’d delivered instructions in that voice that made JJ’s toes curl. JJ loved it that Darren had taken control. More than that, he loved how Darren had been honest with him. In the short time since they’d met, Darren had shown him more honesty that anyone had shown JJ his entire life.

  It all seems to be happening so fast.

  It wasn’t really a complaint, more of an observation, however. Fast didn’t equate with wrong in JJ’s book. The way he’d begun to trust Darren said a lot about JJ’s state of mind. He hadn’t trusted anyone like that in a long, long time. And that got him thinking about the relationships he’d seen at the club—the ones that made him want.

  What would it be like to have that kind of connection with someone? Someone who knows me that intimately? Who reads me? Who knows what I need?

  God, he wanted that.

  He thought back to Darren’s description of Curtis. JJ had discovered a lot about him through research. Just reading what he’d said at his trial painted a picture of an arrogant, belligerent man.

  Since JJ had begun working at the club, there had been no one remotely like that. The Doms were considerate, kindly individuals. Some of them had flirted with him at the bar, but when JJ hadn’t returned their interest, they hadn’t pushed it. It was slowly beginning to dawn on JJ that what Curtis had practiced was not BDSM as these men knew it. Darren had it right.

  The man had been a sick fuck.

  JJ shook the thought aside. There were much more pleasant things to think about, like sex. His jeans came to mind. The sight of his come that morning, crusted onto the inside of the crotch, was a reminder that yeah, he needed to do laundry, but also of how fucking hot that blowjob had been. Darren was taking JJ’s sex education very seriously, judging by the number of times they’d fucked since he’d come to stay. And sex was bringing out a whole new side to JJ, one he hadn’t known existed. Forget that first encounter with Neil. Darren was right—that was kid’s stuff compared to what he and Darren did in Darren’s bed. On the couch. In the shower. JJ had gone from being someone who’d wanted nothing to do with sex to someone who loved how it felt when Darren was balls-deep inside him, making him cry out, making him sweat—making him come.

  Oh, dear Lord in heaven. What if BDSM only heightens that?

  JJ wasn’t sure he’d survive.

  “I’ve had an idea.”

  JJ jumped. He hadn’t heard Darren come down the stairs. “What?” He ignored his racing heartbeat and tried to get his breathing back to some semblance of normality.

  Darren leaned against the doorjamb, a rich brown leather jacket slung over his shoulder. “Why don’t you meet me at the salon in a couple of hours? We could go into town for a late lunch after I’ve shown you where I work.” He grinned. “You know, see me in my natural habitat.”

  The idea of seeing Darren in his own surroundings appealed to JJ. “I’d like that.”

  “Great.” Darren disappeared from sight, only to reappear holding out a business card. “The address is on here. There’s a bus from the end of my street that runs every ten minutes. Ask the driver to let you off at the stop before the McVities factory.” He glanced at his watch. “And if we’re going out for lunch, I’d better run.” He darted forward and gave JJ a quick peck on the lips. As he pulled away, he seemed to change his mind and stepped closer, tugging JJ into a tight hug. Their lips met once more, only this time Darren took his time, kissing him slowly, tongue licking across JJ’s lips before dipping between them to taste him.

  JJ knew which kiss he preferred.

  Darren sighed into his mouth. “I love the way you taste.” With obvious reluctance, he drew back. “I’ll see you later.”

  “Okay,” JJ said softly, walking with him as far as the front door.

  “Oh!” Darren stopped halfway out the door and removed something from his pocket. “Just in case you leave the house and then realize you’ve forgotten something.” He pressed a key into the palm of JJ’s hand. “Don’t lose it. And the alarm code is 301179.” His eyes sparkled. “Want to write that down? It’s actually my birthday, if it helps. November 30, 1979.”

  “I won’t forget, and thank you.” Impulsively JJ lunged forward and kissed Darren on the mouth. “Now get out of here, or we’ll be talking dinner instead of lunch.”

  Darren laughed and smacked his behind once more. “Cheeky sod.” He walked out of the house with a last wave to JJ. When the car pulled away from the house, JJ closed the front door and dashed up the stairs to find his clothes.

  He had a lot to do.

  ALL THE laundry was washed, dried, folded, and put away. It hadn’t taken JJ long to work out where things went. A sense of accomplishment had JJ smiling. He couldn’t wait for Darren to see. A quick look at the clock and he grabbed his jacket. Time to see Darren.

  The thought struck him out of the blue. He’d done his own laundry because he needed clean clothes, sure. But the rest? He’d done it because he wanted to make Darren proud of him. He let his mind drift. The skating rink. He’d done his solo, even though Darren would have been happy for him to have walked away, but the pride that had shone in the man’s eyes when JJ skated back to him…. The intense gaze Darren had given while JJ tended the bar. It spoke of passion, but there had been something else there. A sense of longing.

  “Have I missed the signs?” JJ wondered aloud. He’d heard the men at the club talking about how quickly BDSM relationships could progress, and here he and Darren we
re, a little more than a week of being together, and deep down, though he might not admit it to anyone else, he knew he belonged here, with Darren.

  “Fuck,” JJ whispered to the empty house. The connection has been there all this time. Darren said something in me spoke to him, and when he talks, my body listens. If that’s not a connection, what is?

  It was something to muse over during the bus trip to the salon. The more he thought about it, the more convinced he became.

  I want this. I want to see where it leads me—us.

  The salon was easy to find, sitting on the main road in a row of shops. JJ stood across from it, watching for a moment. Through the glass window that covered the front of the salon, he could see how busy the interior was. Business was clearly good. He crossed the road and entered the salon. Every chair was full. JJ gazed at the clients who were about to leave. Darren’s staff were obviously good at their jobs.

  “Can I help you?” A slender man behind a desk looked up at him. His voice carried a note of disdain, even if his expression was neutral.

  “I’m here to see Darren.”

  Sculpted eyebrows arched. “Do you have an appointment?”

  “Well no, but—”

  The man stretched thin lips into a polite smile. “I’m sorry, but as you can see, we’re quite busy, and Darren doesn’t take people without an appointment.”

  “So you’re speaking for me now, Paul?”

  Darren’s voice. His Dom voice. JJ saw the immediate change in Paul’s behavior, but the tone sent shivers through JJ.

  Paul straightened. “No, Darren. I know you were taking time off, and didn’t think—”

  Darren rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Yes, you didn’t think. This is JJ. He never needs an appointment to speak to me. Am I making myself clear?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  JJ bristled. He didn’t like this Paul guy calling Darren sir. He took in the way Paul’s gaze was focused on Darren, the slightly parted lips, the shining eyes. Can’t Darren see that Paul wants him? JJ clenched his fists. But when Darren leaned over and brushed his lips against JJ’s, all thoughts of Paul went up in a puff of lust-induced smoke.

  “You made it,” Darren said softly. “I’ve still got a bit to do, but you’re welcome to have a seat.”

  JJ peered into Darren’s eyes. “Remind me when I get paid next to make an appointment to come here. It looks like the place to be.” The subs at the club had spoken so highly of the salon, but JJ had never been able to afford it. Maybe if he skipped a meal or three.

  “Why wait?” Darren purred. He reached up and stroked JJ’s hair. “I’ve been wanting to get you in my chair since the first time I touched these beautiful locks of yours.”

  Heat rose in JJ’s face. The touch had been so intimate, the words spoken so sincerely. “But you’re busy,” he protested. The last thing he wanted to do was add to Darren’s workload.

  Darren grinned and inclined his head toward the rear of the salon. “Christopher? You have a space now, don’t you?”

  A voice came from behind him. “Sure. My next isn’t due for another forty minutes. My chair’s all yours.”

  Darren’s eyes gleamed. “JJ? If you’d step this way, please?”

  He led JJ through the shop and brought him to an empty chair. “I don’t take many clients these days, but for you, I want to make an exception.” He leaned close, until his lips brushed JJ’s ear. “I think I want to start by washing your hair,” he whispered, the tone bringing goose bumps to JJ’s arms.

  “I took a shower earlier,” JJ said. “I washed my hair.”

  “Ah, but having someone else wash your hair can be a very pleasant experience. Trust me. You’ll enjoy this.”

  He put his hands on JJ’s shoulders and guided him into one of the seats at the wash station. Swept along in the moment, JJ allowed himself to be positioned any way Darren wanted him.

  Darren tilted the chair back and started the water. While it warmed, he placed a towel over JJ’s body. Then he took the long hose and held the sprayer over JJ’s head. The warm water cascaded down as Darren slid his fingers through JJ’s hair.

  “You have great hair, you know. I love the texture, the way it feels sliding through my fingers.” He brought his head down to JJ’s level, his mouth so close JJ could feel his breath against his ear. In a huskier voice, Darren added, “Especially when I’m holding your head as I fuck your mouth.”

  JJ moaned, which brought a chuckle from Darren. JJ was glad of the towel when his dick stiffened behind his zipper.

  The water stopped. “Time to shampoo.”

  The aroma of coconut, rich and heady, pervaded the air. Darren’s fingers began to work the shampoo in. It felt like heaven.

  “So what did you do while I was gone?” Darren asked, his fingers massaging JJ’s scalp, the action producing an almost hypnotic effect.

  Words. He wanted words. But they were so hard to come by right now. “Thought of you,” JJ answered truthfully.

  “That’s what I like to hear,” Darren replied. “You should always think about me, like I do about you.” He continued the sensuous massage after rinsing the shampoo away and then applying a second lot. His touch was light and dexterous.

  Damn. The man knew exactly what to say to get JJ worked up.

  “It started out with me thinking about Curtis—”

  Those wonderful fingers paused. “You know you share nothing with that man beyond some DNA strands, right?”

  It had taken JJ a while, but he’d finally reached the same conclusion. “Yeah, I figured that out. I put it out of my mind as quickly as it came to me. Then I started thinking about you.” He hesitated before speaking. “I realized a few things.”

  Darren peered down at him. “Anything you can share?”

  He never ceased touching JJ, and that made what he was about to say much easier.

  “I want to make you proud of me.” JJ spoke quietly, hoping his tone of voice conveyed the emotion those words engendered in him.

  Darren’s hands were on either side of his head, his gaze locked on JJ. “Oh, baby, I’m already very—”

  “No, please. Just don’t say anything for a moment and let me get this out.” He took a deep, steadying breath. “I want you to be proud of me. I want to see the gleam in your eyes when something I do earns me the smile that you’ve only ever given me. I want to explore the connection I feel between us. I know it’s fast, but it seem so… right.” His heart pounded. When Darren didn’t reply immediately, JJ’s stomach churned. “Darren?”

  “What? You told me not to say anything.”

  JJ laughed, relief flooding through him. “Smartarse.”

  Darren chuckled. “Okay, joking aside? I want that too. As for being proud of you? I am. So much. You’re an incredibly strong person, and I really cannot tell you enough how much the time I’ve spent with you, holding you, being with you, has meant to me.”

  JJ was surprised when Darren kissed him, their lips pressed together for what felt like ages. Though he was wet and soapy, Darren didn’t seem to mind. The kiss was as sensuous as the scalp massage. Everything about Darren had been about sensations. And JJ couldn’t wait to explore every one of them.

  “I’d like us to go see Thomas,” JJ said, trying to keep his voice steady. “I want to see where this goes. And I want to see it with you.”

  Darren’s eyes shone, and suddenly JJ’s mouth was taken in a deeper kiss, one that sent warmth surging through him. When they parted, he felt the loss immediately.

  “Then let’s get your hair cut. We’ll grab some lunch and then go to the club. This evening.”

  JJ’s heartbeat raced. “Today?”

  “No time like the present. Besides….” A light kiss to his forehead. “I want to see where this goes too.”

  JJ told himself that fluttery feeling in his belly was anticipation, although the frisson that skated up and down his spine might well have contained the tiniest bit of fear too.

  Time to step out o
f my comfort zone.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “HEY, YOU’RE not supposed to be here,” Ben called out when Darren and JJ entered the club. “I thought you’re off until tomorrow?” Then he smiled. “Nice hair, though.”

  Beside him, JJ flushed. “Thanks. And I’m not here to work. I’ve come—”

  “We’ve come,” Darren corrected him with a nudge. JJ’s flush deepened, and Darren thought it an adorable reaction. He met Ben’s gaze. “Is Thomas around? And thanks for the compliments on JJ’s hair.”

  Ben laughed. “Let me guess—your handiwork?”

  Darren gave a half bow.

  “Now I know where to come next time I need a haircut. Thomas is in his office.”

  Darren thanked him and walked toward the office, his arm across JJ’s back.

  “You don’t think you cut it too short?”

  Darren tried hard not to chuckle. It was only the third time JJ had said it since he’d completed the last snip of his scissors. “I left it with enough length so I had something to grab on to when I needed it,” he whispered.

  JJ gave a cough, and Darren grinned.

  “Yes, I do mean when we’re fucking.”

  “Darren!” JJ sounded almost scandalized.

  It was too much. Darren burst out laughing, and JJ spun around to gape at him. Darren regained his composure and kissed JJ on the mouth.

  “We’re about to talk to someone about joining a BDSM club and you’re embarrassed about me mentioning us fucking? Don’t you think that’s a tad incongruous?”

  JJ opened his mouth to retort but then snapped it shut. Darren laughed once more.

  “See? I’m right.”

  They stopped in front of the office door, and Darren placed his hand on JJ’s arm. “If it helps, I promise I won’t embarrass you while we’re in there, okay?”

  JJ stood very still. “Thank you.”

  He spoke softly, and Darren caught the wealth of emotion underlying those two words.