Dom of Ages Read online

  Eli released my hand and cupped my chin, still gazing at me intently. “I would rather risk having a year, a month, hell, even a week with you, than never to know you at all. Do you understand me? Would you give anything to have had one more day with Phillip? To tell him you love him?”

  Fuck. The sob spilled out of my mouth, and I was powerless to prevent it. “Yes.”

  Eli regarded me in silence for a moment and then gently wiped away the tears with his fingers. “That’s the thing. We always want one more day. But if we make the most of each one we have, then nothing is wasted. Do you understand?”

  I shook my head. I didn’t understand at all. Who in their right mind would want to be hurt? Then it came to me. “I forget sometimes,” I said quietly.

  “Forget what?” Eli insisted, his tone matching mine.

  I took another deep breath. “That you’re so much younger than me. You made me forget I was old.” Eli huffed. He let go of my hand and turned away, running his fingers through his hair. I remembered doing that. Feeling the strands as they slid through my fingers. The moans as I scratched lightly at his scalp. The way his head pressed into my lap.

  Life was unfair. First it took Phillip away from me, and now it would take the man I had come to love too.

  “Was Phillip old?”

  Eli’s question dragged me back. I frowned. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

  Eli gave a shrug. “Simple enough question. Do you think Phillip was old?”

  I paused for a moment, wanting to gather my thoughts.

  “Jarod, answer my question. Was he old?”

  I remembered the scenes we did, the vitality the man possessed. The way he lit me up with a look. But there were things I had ignored. He wasn’t as quick as he’d been when we’d first got together. His strokes with the paddle lacked the same bite they’d had when he first brought it into our games. But there was a ferocity to him. A way of overwhelming me, not with his body, but more his personality. Did I consider him old?

  “No, Sir. Phillip was older than me, but I would never have said he was old.”

  He nodded. “Then you need to get that thought out of your head. Let me tell you something. That first day I saw you, your age wasn’t an issue. I didn’t look at you and think, ‘he’s too old for this.’ I saw a man who was comfortable in his skin. One who lived and breathed submission. Yet now you’re trying to push me away, so I must ask one more question. Do you want to be alone again?”

  Eli was never one to miss the point. The thought of being alone in that house chilled me. I didn’t want to live surrounded only by memories of what had been. More than anything, I wanted to be Eli’s pet. To sleep in his bed while he held me. To once again know the touch of love. A lump formed in my throat, and I couldn’t answer beyond shaking my head.

  “Words, remember. I need to hear them.”

  “No,” I sobbed. “I hated being alone. I hated Phillip for leaving me, and I hated myself for being so damned weak that I couldn’t move on with my life.”

  Eli stroked his fingers over my face. “You’re not alone now, pet. You have Alex and Scott and Peter. Most importantly, you have me. We are like two pieces of a puzzle that fit together beautifully. I need you, Jarod. Do you understand? This pity party of yours is over. We have a life to live, but it needs both of us to do it. Will you take my hand and come with me, or do you want me to leave you here in this bed, waiting to die?”

  He was so damned blunt about it. I respected and hated that at the same time.

  “No,” I finally answered. “I’m not ready to die. Not now that I’ve found a reason to live again.”

  Eli’s gaze was still focused on me. “Okay. You’re going to come home with me.” It wasn’t a question. Then he smiled. “We have a contract, remember? So, unless you’ve suddenly decided you wish to break it, or you want to safeword—which I don’t believe is the case—I make the decisions, and I say you’re coming home with me. To a place where you’ll be loved and cared for until you’re well enough for us to take care of one another.”

  That was still a tough one. I was going to be a burden to him, and it was clear Eli wasn’t about to budge.

  “One thing will have to change, though. And that’s down to you.”

  I swallowed a lump, trying to figure out what would have to change between us.

  “In order for me to care for you properly, I’m going to have to take a leave from my job. Or….”

  Or? There was an or? The only thing I could think of was that he gave up work entirely and stayed home, but Eli wouldn’t consider doing that… would he? I knew he liked working, but the thought of spending all day, every day with him, was a pleasant one.

  “Of course, that would depend on whether you could put up with having me around all the time.” His eyes gleamed.

  “Seriously?” Oh God, he meant it.

  Eli nodded. “It’s something to think about and discuss, but maybe I need to think about a change in career. One that keeps me near you. That’s assuming you like that idea.”

  I hoped my broad smile gave him the answer he wanted.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Eli

  I SWITCHED off the TV. Jarod glanced across at me from his armchair, eyebrows lifted.

  “I’ve been thinking about my birthday present,” I began. A great many other things had been on my mind as well during the last couple of months, but I’d been biding my time, waiting to see how things went. I patted the seat cushions beside me on the couch. “Come sit here.”

  Jarod rose slowly and joined me, sitting down with care.

  And that’s part of the problem. He’d always been a graceful man, but since the heart attack there was a fragility to him that I was convinced was of his own making. Will had nailed it: Jarod was stepping back from life, and I had to do something.

  I wanted my pet back. It was so hard to see him like this. Jarod had been so vital. I was hoping the mention of our trip together would kindle some excitement.

  “What about it?” The cautious note in his voice saddened me.

  “Well, you said we could go anywhere, make it the adventure of a lifetime, and that got me thinking.” I grinned. “How’d you fancy going to Hawaii and visiting volcanoes?”

  He stared at me in silence. “Hawaii. Volcanoes.”

  I nodded eagerly. “It’s something I’ve always dreamed of doing. And Hawaii is a beautiful place. What do you think?”

  That steady gaze didn’t alter. “I think… I don’t know that it’s a good idea. Maybe I should stay home. You go ahead and enjoy yourself.”

  I sighed inwardly. So much for excitement. It was no good. I was going to have to push him a little. I’d worn my kid gloves for far too long as it was. “Jarod, I know you’re afraid you’ll have another attack, but that fear is preventing you from doing the things that will help your heart grow stronger.” I took a deep breath. “For instance, we need to talk about exercise.”

  Jarod stared at me. “I walk to the shops. I do my yoga. I’m doing all the things I did before the heart attack. We even go for gentle walks, which we didn’t do when you were working. Isn’t that enough?”

  “No, it’s not enough, pet,” I said as gently as I could. I was doing my bit, taking care of him, watching his diet and making sure he didn’t overdo it. But it wasn’t true. He wasn’t doing all the things he’d done before. One activity in particular was conspicuous by its absence. Sex had become the elephant in the room. Neither of us was mentioning it. If I touched him while we were in bed together, he claimed he was worn out, or else he feigned sleep. After a time I figured out he wanted to be left alone. I was surprised—but thankful—he hadn’t gone back to the other room.

  Well, not anymore. After two months I’d had enough of keeping quiet. The day had arrived for making a few changes. I’d planned out what we were going to do, bought some new toys, and gotten some advice. I was ready.

  Now all I needed was my submissive.

  Jarod said nothing fo
r a moment but stared at the blank TV screen. “I know this isn’t what you signed up for,” he began. “I’m supposed to be the one taking care of you, remember?”

  “Now wait a moment.” I stared at him. “We discussed this. You’re mine, pet, and I take care of what belongs to me, okay?” It was no burden to look after him while he was recuperating.

  “I know that,” he stressed. “It’s just that… when you said about giving up your job, that day in the hospital, it sounded wonderful. But now, I feel awful about it. You loved that job.”

  I’d had a conversation with Brian, the owner of the haulage company. I’d told him I had to make a choice between the job or Jarod. When he’d mentioned about more of the hauls being overnight—and overseas—that had gone a long way to helping me make my mind up. I enjoyed my job, but I enjoyed being with Jarod a lot more.

  Maybe he needed to know that.

  “I liked my job,” I said with a smile, “but I love you.” When he became still, I pressed the point home. “Does my job keep me warm at night? No. Does my job like to cuddle? Uh… no.”

  He smiled at that, but then his expression grew more earnest. “I love you being here, don’t get me wrong, but you can’t just stay at home doing nothing.”

  “Financially, I’m okay right now, for now.”

  Jarod sighed. “We have money if you need it.”

  I’d wondered how long it would take. “No… thanks, but no. If it comes down to it, we can discuss it, but for now, we’re fine. And this is getting us off the topic.” I echoed his sigh. “You need to take more exercise. We’ve talked about this.” Rather, I’d talked about it. Jarod had kept silent on the matter. The walks had been one of my suggestions, and I’d been delighted when he’d agreed. “I’ve had an idea.” This made it sound like it was a recent thing, whereas I’d been thinking about it since just before his discharge from the hospital. Only now I’d spoken to Ben, and he’d given it the thumbs-up.

  “Oh?” The way he stiffened sent another wave of sadness rolling through me. I knew he was anticipating me bringing up sex, which of course I was going to, but not right at that moment. This was not the sub I’d brought home back in February. The heart attack had all but submerged that man in a vat of anxiety and fear.

  “Well, I say my idea. Actually it was Ben who approached me,” I lied. “He’s been worrying about Scott lately.” It was a sneaky way to introduce the topic, but I knew how much Jarod cared about Scott.

  He straightened. “Is Scott all right? I spoke with him last week. He seemed fine.”

  “Oh, yeah. Ben’s just concerned that since Scott’s course finished for the summer and he’s now writing full-time, he’s spending a lot of time sitting at his desk. Ben’s thinking of getting him to go jogging with us, maybe three or four times a week. Not going full tilt, just a light jog to get him active,” I added nonchalantly.

  “Really.” Jarod’s eyes sparkled, and his lips twitched. “And this was the idea, getting Scott to go jogging?”

  Shit. I should’ve known he’d see straight through me. “We-ell, Ben and I thought it would be good if you joined us, you know, as company for Scott. I’m sure he’d love the chance to meet up with you regularly.”

  Jarod folded his arms across his chest and just stared at me. Yeah, Maggie didn’t raise an idiot. Finally he sighed and shook his head. “Yes, okay, why not?”

  I beamed at him. “Yeah?”

  He laughed. “You could’ve just come straight out and said, ‘Hey, pet, wanna take up jogging with me?’ instead of involving Scott.” There was the Jarod I knew and loved.

  “That part is true,” I told him. “Scott loves the idea. They were just waiting until I spoke to you about it.”

  “It wasn’t that I didn’t like the idea of doing more exercise,” Jarod said, his expression more serious. “But every time I thought about it, there was always this voice in my head that said I had to be careful.”

  “And I understand that.” I truly did. I’d spoken with his doctors, with Will, even his counselor. “You’re making excellent progress, pet, but….” There was no other way around this. “I’m going to prove to you that you’re not broken.”

  If I’d thought he was still before…. “What do you mean?”

  I locked gazes with him. “Upstairs, now. Get yourself ready, then our bedroom. Naked.”

  Jarod

  HE COULDN’T mean we were going to do a scene—could he? “Sir?”

  Eli didn’t break eye contact. “You know I would never do anything to harm you, right?” I nodded. “And I’ve already talked through what we’re about to do with Will. So you’re going to have to trust me.”

  I didn’t know how to react. Several different emotions were instantly at war inside me: fear, anticipation, and one I hadn’t expected—desire.

  “Will assures me that our sex life isn’t over because you had a heart attack. In fact, he tells me that vigorous sex is good for the heart. And I dare say we’ll find out how true that is when we get to the end of what I’ve got planned.” His eyes gleamed.

  That got my heart beating faster. It wasn’t that I hadn’t thought about sex—on the contrary, I’d thought about little else during the last seven or eight weeks—but each time my pulse quickened, a wave of fear rolled over me. It didn’t seem to matter what my counselor said; I had visions of collapsing in the middle of us making love.

  I couldn’t do that to Eli.

  “Jarod.” Eli’s voice was soft. “Isn’t this what our relationship is all about? Trust? You’re going to have to trust me, pet.” The tension in me eased when Eli smiled. “I promise, you’re going to love it.” His eyes sparkled. “Only, you need to pee before we start.”

  Pee?

  “Well, after what happened that last time with Phillip,” he added, still smiling.

  Oh. The penny dropped.

  Eli nodded, his gaze still focused on me. “I figured it was about time we did a little sensory deprivation.”

  “A little?” Mummification?

  Eli never failed to surprise me.

  “Pet?”

  The edge of amusement in his voice brought me back into the moment. “Sir?”

  Eli’s lips twitched. “Well, at least I don’t have to ask if you like that idea.” His gaze flicked downward to my already filling cock, then back up to my face. “And yet you’re still here. I know it’s been a while since we did a scene, but it still shouldn’t take you this long to obey an instruction.” Now there was a full-bodied smirk as he rose to his feet and stared at me. “Now, Jarod.”

  I got up from the couch, almost in a daze, and followed him up the stairs, trying to ignore my pounding heart. I knew he was right—it had been too long since we’d shared a scene—but that didn’t stop my mind from going into overdrive and my body from reacting to his commands. We’d used blindfolds and padded ear covers to block out sight and sound before now, but it sounded like he had something more in depth in mind.

  At the top of the stairs, Eli paused. “Okay, you go to the bathroom and get ready, while I prepare what I need in the bedroom.” He let out a wry chuckle. “I have something new for you, pet.”

  That told me one thing—Eli had been planning this. I never knew whether to be relieved or worried when Sir was up to something.

  Then he leaned close and kissed me on the lips. “This is going to be good,” he assured me, before disappearing into our bedroom.

  I entered the bathroom, stripped down quickly and went through my routine. In spite of my quaking heart, it felt good to be doing this again. Once I was cleaned out, I grabbed a swift shower. When I was dry, I walked into the bedroom. The bed had been left as it was, but lying on top of the cover were several rolls of bandages. What caught my eye, however, was the black hood.

  Eli watched me as I approached the bed. “Lie down and we’ll get started.” He tilted his head to one side. “And you did pee, right?”

  I laughed. “Once bitten,” I said with a smile, although my pulse spe
d up when Eli reached out a hand and touched the hood.

  He stilled his hand. “Did you use one of these with Phillip?”

  I shook my head. “We had a blindfold, ear covers, and a ball gag.”

  Eli picked up the hood. “This has a ball gag that attaches to the mouth cover. Normally, I’d use it, but in these circumstances I’m going to leave your mouth free. That way, if you need to safeword, you can.”

  I was relieved. The only way I’d have been able to communicate with him when I was all trussed up would be by snorting.

  “I’ve done this before,” he told me, “but I know you only got so far with Phillip before the call of nature interrupted proceedings. I’ll be wrapping your limbs individually. This takes about half an hour, maybe a bit longer. Then the hood goes on, leaving your mouth exposed. Finally, all of you will be wrapped up completely.” He paused, his eyes twinkling. “Well, I say all of you, but that’s not quite true.”

  Oh hell. Sir was definitely up to something.

  “Ready, pet?”

  I wasn’t about to say no, not when he was doing all this for me. “Ready, Sir.” I got onto the bed and lay down on my back. Eli unrolled the first pack of gauze bandages and began to encase my arm in them.

  “Of course, once we’ve done this once, if you like it—and I know you will—we can invest in a latex suit that covers all of you,” he said in a conversational tone, while he unfurled roll after roll of gauze. “Just imagine how that will feel.”

  I was too busy wondering how this was going to feel.

  Slowly and steadily, every bit of skin disappeared under a layer of gauze, with a couple of exceptions. He left a band of flesh across my chest uncovered, which also had the result of leaving my nipples exposed, and then did the same with my groin, leaving my dick, balls, hole and buttocks free. As he worked, Eli kept up a steady flow of words, the sound of his voice soothing and comforting. He told me I’d feel relaxed and that at no time would he leave my side. He thanked me for the trust I was showing in him. By the time he was ready to put on the hood, I was at peace, mentally prepared for what was to come.